


Good Morning

by smolandgrumpy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Coffee Shop Owner Dean Winchester, Coffee Shops, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, POV Dean Winchester, Past Abuse, Protective Dean Winchester, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 41,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26697490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolandgrumpy/pseuds/smolandgrumpy
Summary: Dean Winchester, owner of Dean’s Beans is living a humble and quiet life. Roasting beans and selling coffee in his little shop is what makes him happy. When she walked into his shop four months ago, his life changed, but is it for better or worse?
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean Winchester/You
Comments: 117
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

**Monday, August 31st**

Monday mornings are always the most stressful compared to the other mornings, Dean thinks. Sometimes people would queue back to the entrance, which is good. He really shouldn’t complain about the crowd because they bring in extra money.

The shop opens at 6 AM and people would normally stand around the front. They are eager to get in even before Dean can turn the sign from _Closed_ to _Open_. 

By 7.30 AM the first wave of the crowd starts to clear. People rushing off to work with their daily caffeine fix and it’s close to the time that she would show up.

Not that Dean is anticipating it or anything.

Well, maybe he does. It is truly the highlight of his day. _Seeing_ her, that is. Because talking to her is still not on the menu and it’s too much to ask for. Baby steps, right? 

Dean snorts out a soft chuckle when he thinks about it. It’s really pathetic of him to act like this, and if someone he knows acting as he does, he’d make sure to whack them over the head and shake them, maybe scream in their faces to fucking _do something_.

He’s working on an order when the bell chimes to signal a newcomer and Dean tears his eyes away briefly from his hand to take a look. 

_It’s her._

Dean smirks to himself and tries his best to focus on the task at hand. He pours hot milk into a cup of steaming espresso and sprinkles it with cocoa powder after. He seals the lid and hands it over with a “Thank you and have a good day,” His signature phrase.

She’s like clockwork. Coming in daily from Monday till Friday, always at the same time, too. It has been what? Four months now? 

Four months and three days. 

Not that he’s keeping track. 

Of course he does, he was mesmerized by her the moment she set foot into his shop for the first time. She’s been in here ever since, always at 7.40 AM. 

There’s still another customer ahead of her, and Dean tries to concentrate, but it’s so hard when she’s waiting in line and watches him with a little smirk tugging away at the corner of her lips.

Dean’s hands start to tremble, and he nearly spills the hot coffee as he tries to pour it into the cup. The customer whose coffee he’s preparing doesn’t even notice. They rarely do. People are too busy staring into their phones than noticing their surroundings. 

Not her, though. She always looks at him, always smiles when she waits in line.

He risks another glance, smirking as he does because she smiles back.

Sealing the lid to the cup, he hands it over, “Thank you and have a nice day!”

Finally it’s her turn and Dean gets nervous all of a sudden, his fingers drumming on the counter as his heart picks up pace. Not too fast, but enough to distract him. Blood pumps to his head enough to make him blush.

“Good morning,” Dean says, hoping that she doesn’t hear the slight stutter of his voice. He smirks too, tilts his chin down a little because he’s indeed embarrassed by how he turns into a flustered teenager whenever she’s standing before him, “The same as usual?”

_There. A full fucking sentence! Was that so hard?_ Dean thinks to himself.

He actually doesn’t _have_ to ask, doesn’t _need_ to ask as she always orders the same drink. Has always ordered the same for four fucking months.

“Morning,” She says, her eyes glistening in the light. As the sun shines into the shop, the light drops right at her back and it makes her look angelic. Dean has a hard time tearing his eyes from her and he thinks she notices because she’s grinning, “I don’t know how good it is yet. And yes, please the same, make it double espresso? I need it.”

Dean chuckles, “Sure,”

But instead of actually working on her order, he doesn’t notice that he is still staring and only jerks from his trance when she clears her throat.

He looks at her to see her raising her eyebrows, but the smile is still there. Dean shakes his head, the color in his face rising some more, “Right, double shot cappuccino coming right up.” He mumbles and moves to the machine. 

If his hands were shaking before, they are shaking even more now. And it doesn’t help calm his heart to know that she’s watching him. 

Dean catches her stare in the corner of his eye, catches her tugging her bottom lip between her teeth. Other customers would just stare at their phones while they wait, but not her. She always watches him.

Sometimes Dean wishes that he’d sell to big corporates, like fucking Starbucks who put their customers’ names on the cups. At least then he would maybe know her name but he isn’t going to sell his shop, and he’s too chicken to fucking ask. It’s all on him, really.

He tries to concentrate on making her coffee, tries to drown out all the other senses so as not to be too distracted.

“Here you go,” Dean holds the cup out for her with a shy smile.

She places two two-dollar bills onto the counter, “You can keep the change.”

Dean picks up the bills and frowns, “It’s too much,” He doesn’t charge so much for his coffees, because that’s not his main source of income. Dean’s making money with roasting and selling his own brand of coffee beans.

“I think that’s not even enough,” She grins and winks at him.

Dean tries not to blush even more because there are other customers still standing in line. They all have patience, though. They are here because they enjoy his coffee and the quality of good coffee beans. They know that his shop is not about quantity and sales numbers. He’s proud of that and can count himself lucky to have loyal customers. 

Before she turns around to walk out of the door, she smiles again and lifts the cup in a salute, “Thank you, Dean.”

He frowns, “You know my name?”

That makes her stop to chuckle, “Yeah, _Dean’s Beans_? It’s written in big bold lettering above the shop?”

His cheek turned a bright shade of red. He knows because he can feel it, “Oh,”

“Bye, Dean,” She leaves with a last smile. One so sweet it makes him choke on his own words because he can’t even bring himself to say goodbye to her but he quickly grabs the bag of muffin he had prepared for her. 

That’s right. He’d prepared it even before the first customer arrived this morning with the full intention of giving it to her because he thinks that she probably doesn’t have time for breakfast and it’s really the most important meal, isn’t it? But also a muffin because they always sell out so fast. By the time 7.30 AM rolls around, there are none left. So this is the last one that he kept behind the counter and he almost forgot to give it to her.

“Hey!” He calls out, can’t even call her by name because he doesn’t fucking know it, but she turns around and Dean throws the bag with precision.

Her fingers catch the edge of the bag and her eyes widen.

“You have to eat something in the mornings,” He adds, knowing that it might sound stupid because well, he sounds like a stalker, doesn’t he? It’s just a fact that in the four months, all she buys is coffee while she ignores all the other breakfast pastries he offers.

All the pastries Dean is selling are coming from _Angel Cakes_ bakery two blocks from here and they get delivered fresh. Dean always has plenty of croissants and Cas, the owner of the bakery, has amazing bacon and eggs scones, but the muffins though, no matter how many he orders, they are always gone in record time.

She smiles with a nod before mouthing a _thank you_. Dean nods back with flushed cheeks.

“You know, it’s like an accident,” Benny growls when he steps to the counter from the back, “It’s hard to look at but I can’t look away. It’s almost pathetic. You’re pathetic. When will you ask her out, huh?”

Dean tilts his head to the bulky man and rolls his eyes. He kind of hopes that none of the people in here heard Benny. 

“What?” Benny shrugs, “You’ve never had any problems chatting up a girl before?”

Benny’s right. Flirting comes naturally to Dean. He’s usually very good with words. It’s just that, none of the girls were her. 

He doesn’t answer Benny, instead, he takes off his apron and walks to the back, “Take over, I have some work to do.”

Benny just fucking grins as he pulls his own apron over his head and Dean wants so much to wipe that stupid grin from his friend’s face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tuesday, September 1st**

Dean’s working the front again like he always does in the mornings. Mainly, because he lives just above the shop and secondly, he wants to spare Benny the travel time. If someone would ask Benny why Dean never lets him work the early shift, the dude would say that the arguments Dean’s bringing up are all lies. Benny would say that it was because Dean doesn’t want to share preparing coffee for her with anyone else. 

He thinks his friend is exaggerating. But maybe, yeah, there’s some truth to it. She never comes in during the day. Not at night either. They’re open till eight, but he’s never seen her coming in apart from the mornings.

While Dean works the machine, his phone starts to vibrate in his pants. With one free hand, he fishes it out.

Liz.

He’s got no patience for the woman, at least not when he’s working, but maybe it’s about Ben. It usually is about Ben when she calls. 

Dean picks up, wedges his phone between his shoulder and head to be able to still work with both hands. 

“Liz,” He breathes out.

“Dean, you’ve got to talk to him,” Liz says meekly.

He knows exactly who she means by  _ him _ .

“What about?”

“He’s not happy. He’s closed up and we have a fight every morning before he has to go to school. It’s draining my energy!”

“Why can’t Gordon talk to him?” Dean asks, and he thinks it isn’t too much of him to ask to get Gordon to talk to Ben. Gordon is Ben’s stepdad after all and he and Liz have been married for quite some time now. The dude has spent more time in the house with Ben than Dean ever had. 

“It will only make it worse.” 

Dean’s putting the lid on the cup and hands it out, taking the money in exchange, and letting it slip into the register. He only nods at the customer, but the man understands, nodding back at him.

“You know that you’re the only one he listens to,” Liz continues and adds, “We had a fight this morning. Every morning actually since the school year started.”

The bell chimes and Dean’s still trying to find a polite way to talk to Liz. It’s hard to form words sometimes without sounding too rude. While he’s still thinking about what to say, he looks up and sees her walking in. 

“‘K, Liz, have him call me, alright? I got work to do, bye.” He hangs up before Liz could say anything and lets the phone slip back into his pant pocket before taking another order, “Good Morning, what can I get you?”

While Dean prepares the order for the man in the front, he can’t help but take quick glances at her every now and then. 

She has a backpack strapped around her shoulder instead of the usual laptop bag. He shouldn’t notice these little things, yet here he is and it’s weird, isn’t it? The way he already knows her habits, the way he knows that when it’s warm enough, she wears a shirt or a blouse, combines it with some kind of a jacket when the mornings are cool. Sometimes, leather, which makes his head spin. Sometimes it’s a jeans jacket, which is really cute and it suits her. Sometimes, she’d wear a cardigan that makes her look so innocent and pure, it almost gets his heart to explode from all the clenching that it does.

There were times when she would wear a long-sleeved shirt for three or four days in a row and Dean kept wondering why. It was not exactly cold out. 

Now, when the mornings start to get cooler, he notices that she wears a thick jumper that’s way too big for her. It makes her look more fragile. Makes her look like someone that needs protection. Maybe she does? Dean doesn’t know. Didn’t allow himself to go there and question it. All he knows is that it makes him want to protect her.

What he also knows is that when she’s running late to his shop, she’d show up bare-faced and her hair’s usually in knots or a ponytail because she probably overslept. There’s no make up on her face whatsoever, but there’s always a glint of lip gloss on her lips. Which is not really fucking fair to him because he’d like to kiss those glistening lips. 

Right now, Dean’s serving the customer before her, but he feels her eyes on him. It doesn’t make him work on the order any faster, though. Almost spilling hot milk over his own goddamn clumsy hands as he does. Finally, he manages to put the lid on the cup and hands it over, “Thank you, and have a good day!”

With a grin, she steps closer to the counter and he turns into a stupid teen again. His face is tilted down a little, his cheeks are flushed because they feel like they are burning up big time, and there’s a smirk on his stupid face, can’t really help it.

“Good morning,” He mumbles, can’t really bring it out louder, “The same as usual?” He manages to ask, is a little proud of himself to push the word over his lips without a stutter.

She nods with a smile, “Hi, Dean. Please,” 

Oh, she’s greeting him by name now. That’s progress, right? He absolutely loves how his name sounds rolling off her tongue. Smooth like fucking honey, and he absolutely wouldn’t mind to hear it more often.

“Double?” Dean asks, just to make sure. 

Double is her go-to when she needs to wake up. A One-shot is normally only reserved for a couple of days a month, he guesses that it’s when she’s on her period. It’s absolutely stalker-ish of him to know these facts, and Dean knows that he shouldn’t even notice but he does.

“Uh, do you do triple?”

He chuckles, “I don’t think that would do you any good if you have to work, you might be shaking the whole morning and your eyes are going to cross.”

“Good thing I’m not working in the office today, then.”

He lifts his eyebrows, wants to ask more, but he knows that it’s not his fucking place, “Right,” He says, “Just this one time, okay?”

Smiling, she nods, “Thank you.”

As Dean prepares the three shots of espresso, he risks a glance, sees her watching him with a small smile.

“So, no office today?” He blurts out and he feels absolutely stupid. She’d think he’s weird for asking about her personal life, won’t she?

“Nope, my office has maxed out on capacity and I’m working mostly from home unless I do have to go in for meetings.”

He lifts one eyebrow, “And why aren’t you home now when you don’t have to be anywhere?”

Dean can feel her change in demeanor. Her shoulders are tensing and she bites on her bottom lip. It’s just really quick and she probably thinks that he didn’t notice, but he did. 

He pours the three shots into a big cup, proceeds to pour some milk into the jug and he doesn’t look at her, because he’s afraid that she’ll close up to him now that he has gotten her to talk some more. 

“I don’t really have good wifi at home.” She says simply and Dean believes her, although he has the feeling that there’s something else she doesn’t tell him. But he takes that explanation because it’s a valid one. 

He knows himself how wifis can be a pain in the ass in the city. The wifi in his apartment above the shop does the same sometimes and he should really buy a new router, but he just doesn’t seem to spend enough time in there and the wifi in the shop is good enough for him to do his administrative work. 

Dean is warming up the milk, the sound is noisy and he can’t concentrate on her because he has to be careful not to make too much foam and spill it over his own hands again. 

When he pours the milk into the cup, he has a sudden lightbulb moment. And he looks up, sees her staring. 

Dean grins.

“What?” She asks with clear irritation on her face. 

“I was just thinking,” He says, as he picks up the cocoa powder and sprinkles it over the foam of milk, “You can work in here. We have a pretty good wifi connection and you’re right at the coffee source.” He shrugs nonchalantly, doesn’t want her to see that he’s excited about the prospect of her doing her work in his shop. At least he doesn’t want to seem like he’s more excited than he should be.

“Oh, I can’t,” She says and pauses, “Or can I?” 

Dean raises an eyebrow as he finishes putting the lid onto her triple espresso beverage, “Yeah, you can. There are a couple of people coming in to work from here, some stay a couple of hours, some the whole day.” He shrugs and it’s not even a full lie. He really has people working out of his shop, he doesn’t have people who stay the whole day, though. The most that someone stays is about three hours, so it’s not really a lie. He’s just twisting the truth a little. 

“Okay, I might take you up on that. But this week I’ve rented out an office desk space downtown already, so maybe I’ll be here next week?”

“Sounds great,” Dean smiles, couldn’t not smile because there’s a sudden feeling of joy logged in his chest. 

She hands him a five-dollar bill this time and Dean actually doesn’t want to take it. She notices the irritation on his face.

“For the muffin last time, Dean.”

“I can’t take it.” 

“Do it.” 

“Fine, but here,” He grabs the little paper bag packed with a muffin and holds it out for her, “Another one.” He hopes she doesn’t see how much he’s blushing. 

She grins, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Dean answers with a sincere smile, “Oh, and do I get to know your name?” 

His heart is thumping fast in his chest and his throat feels dry. God, he definitely feels like a teen again. 

“My name?” She asks, her grin grows cocky, he likes that a lot.

“Yeah,” Dean huffs out a breath, “You know mine. It’s only fair.”

She actually laughs, god what a nice sound. It’s indeed a good morning.

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s only fair. I’m Y/N.” She’s still chuckling. 

“Alright, Y/N, have a nice day and thank you,” He holds up the five-dollar bill. 

“I’ll see you, Dean.” She nods before she leaves and hell, yeah, he hopes that he’ll see her soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Friday, September 4th**

Dean sits in his office in the afternoon, going through new orders that came through his website and planning on how many batches of flavored roast he needs to do for the coming week.

Apparently, people really like flavored coffee beans, which really blows his mind. It’s not his thing, but each to their own. 

Smoky Butterscotch seems to be this week's winner, followed by Vanilla. Coconut isn’t so far behind and Salted Caramel just picked up. He wonders if he should add Pumpkin Spice to the range since it’s Halloween soon. He also wants to try to roast bacon flavored beans once in his life, although Benny cringed his nose at the mention and told him to shut up. 

He had packed some cartons of beans to be sent out to the people who ordered through the internet, when his phone rings. 

He picks it up on the third ring. 

“Hey, Ben.”

“Mom said to call you,”

Ah, hot-headed teen, always straight to the point. It makes Dean chuckle because he was no different at that age.

“Yeah, I told her that you can call me. And I believe I told you before I left too. I’m always here for you Ben, you should know that.” Dean leans back in his chair, threads his hand through his hair, and scratches at his scruff. It’s long again, he hasn’t had the time to trim it yet this week.

“I hate it here,” Ben says.

Dean knows that they just moved. Yet again. Gordon is a big shot lawyer, gets chased by headhunters, changes firms every couple of years and now they moved close to the city because the dude’s appointed Director of  _ something + something _ . Has his own name on the firm and all,  _ Something + Something + Walker and Partner _ . Dean doesn’t really know and he actually doesn’t even care. All he knows is that Gordon is everything Dean’s not.

“I don’t get along with anyone,” Ben whines into the phone. 

Poor boy has had to change schools so many times in his life and Dean gets it. Gets his frustrations. He would be angry too. Would have been angry at his mom for tearing him away from places he just got accustomed to. He’d be mad at his mom for catering to the wishes of a man and not thinking about her son. But that’s exactly the thing. Ben’s her son and not his. Dean has no say in this at all. The thing between them took a natural turn. And Dean thinks for him, it’s for the better. They didn’t want the same thing, and Dean has no hard feelings whatsoever, because again, that’s life. People change. He did too.

“Ben, you’re seventeen now, you’re almost an adult. There are things that you have to do later in life that you won’t like, but you have to make the best out of it, okay? Hold on to the good things, man.”

“I don’t know what’s good.” 

Dean chuckles, “Oh, come on, what do you like, huh? Did you check out their baseball team?”

“Yeah, they want me.” 

“See? That’s a good thing right there,” Dean tries to cheer Ben up, “And I’m pretty sure that there’s a girl who you think is cute? There must be. Your mom didn’t sign you up for a catholic school, did she?”

It’s Ben’s turn to chuckle and Dean smirks, thinks it’s great that he can help cheer the boy up. 

“Dean,” Ben mumbles. Dean can hear the embarrassment in his voice.

“What? Oh, come on, you can tell me,”

Ben sighs, and it’s a while until he speaks, “Yeah, there’s one girl.”

“Just one?”

“Dean!”

He’s laughing now, “Okay, okay buddy. It’s just, when I was your age, there were certainly more than one that I had a little crush on.” 

Ben decides to ignore Dean, “She’s really sweet, was actually the first one who talked to me during lunch. She has some other friends and ignored them to sit with me.”

“Hey, that’s good right?”

“I think I might ask her out for homecoming.”

Dean’s full on grinning. Even though Ben’s not his real son, he feels kind of proud, “You will?”

“Yeah, do you think I should?”

“Ben,” Dean says, “Why not? She obviously thinks you’re cute—”

“‘M not cute.”

“Okay, hot.”

“Dean!”

Dean chuckles, “What? What do you want me to say? Handsome? Fine? Attractive?”

“Stop!”

“I’m just saying, Ben. Why else would she come and sit with you? Do you eat lunch together often?”

“Every other day when I’m not at practice, yeah.”

“So, then I don’t see any problems, really.”

“I’ll be nervous.”

“Dude, that’s common. It’s fine to be nervous,” 

Dean talks like he’s got it all together when he’s actually the one who didn’t even ask someone for their name who he was crushing on for four fucking months. Well, Ben doesn’t need to know that. 

“Thanks, Dean.” 

“Anytime, Ben,” He replies, “And hey, listen, don’t make your mom’s life a living hell, okay? She loves you.” 

“I know,” Ben exhales audibly, “Will I get to see you soon?” 

Dean smiles, “I’m always free on Sundays. You can get your mom to drop you off and we can do something fun, huh?” 

“I have to check my game schedule, but yeah, it sounds good,” the boy says and Dean doesn’t see it but he can picture him smiling. Dean always liked it when Ben’s happy, “Right, gotta go to practice. Thanks again!”

“No worries, bye buddy.”

Dean hangs up and stares at his phone some more before he clicks his tongue. He places the phone to his forehead, takes a couple of breaths.

“Hey, you done?” Benny pokes his head in just when Dean’s about to continue with his back-office work. 

“With what?” Dean frowns at his friend. 

“Talking to Ben.” 

“Yeah,” Dean says.

“Good, I need your help carrying in the bags that have just been delivered.” Benny stands at the door and waits for Dean to get up. 

He does so with a grunt, and pushes past Benny to the back entrance, “I don’t get it why you care so much for that boy anyway, it’s not like he’s your son and from what you told me, you spent what? A year in a relationship with his mom? That was already a decade ago.”

“Ben’s a good kid, Benny. We had a special bond.” Dean says, as he opens the door to the back alley to see the gigantic pile of coffee beans, “Come on, let’s get moving, I want to get this over with.”

  
  
  


*

  
  


Back in the shop, Dean is stacking bags of beans onto the shelves to refill them. When he looks out of the window, he notices Y/N walking by. It’s close to 6 PM so he guesses that she’s just finished with work.

He steps to the shop window and raps on it, hoping he’d catch her attention. Actually, his first instinct was to run out, but that would seem a little over the top. He’s not going to force himself on her, because that’s never a good start. 

Dean smiles when she stops to look at him, and he smiles some more when he notices her smiling back. 

God, she looks lovely with that smile decorating her face.

He signals for her to come in, uses his hands and face, jerking his head to emphasize his gestures, probably looking like a complete fool while doing it.

It’s Friday evening, he doesn’t have much hope that she’d pop in. She probably has plans to go for after work drinks and whatnot. Other people aren’t like him. They don’t have a shop that weighs them down. Other people go out for drinks, for a nice meal. He probably would be a little disappointed, but he’d understand if she’d shoot him down. 

She seems to hesitate at first and Dean stops breathing for a moment. His heart’s thumping just a little bit faster.

Dean watches her fish out her phone from her back pocket, probably to check the time, and his grip around that bean bag he’s holding tightens.

Still holding her phone in her hand, she looks at him and he notices the corner of her lips slowly starts to point upwards as a little grin spreads across her face.

His heart takes a leap as she smiles back while he releases a hiss of air with his next breath. Air that he didn’t even realize he’s been holding in his lungs.

He hurries back to drop the bag he’s still holding back into the basket before carrying the whole thing back behind the counter. The doorbell chimes and Dean quickly turns around to see her coming in.

“Hi,” She says and there’s that smile again. The smile that makes Dean forget his own goddamn name.

It’s about three breaths later that he catches himself enough to answer. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Dean starts the machine, “Sorry, I didn’t want to hold you back, just thought maybe you’d be up for a cup of coffee?”

“Sure,” She grins, “I’m always up for a cup of coffee,”

That’s a girl after Dean’s taste really, and he chuckles, “Go take a seat, I’ll be right up.”

Friday evenings are rather quiet here. People rush home, into restaurants or bars. They are tired from the work week and need to unwind. Seldom does someone find their way in here and that’s why Dean’s really glad that she agreed to have a coffee with him, is really glad that he has company. He still has two hours to go until he can close up and Benny has already left for a date. 

He notices her take a seat in the back corner, is a little surprised she wouldn’t pick a seat at the window, which customers usually prefer, because they can watch people passing by.

Dean doesn’t think a lot of it and finishes preparing two coffees to walk them over to her.

When he arrives at the table, she has shrugged off her jacket and hung it up around her chair. Dean sits down and places her coffee in front of her and she whispers him a  _ thank you _ .

She wears a thin blouse, sleeves folded up to her elbow and her bra shimmers through the fabric of her shirt. Dean tries not to look but fails. It’s light blue, he can see that much. 

“Just one shot,” He says. He was thinking long and hard about saying something that would break the ice, hopes that it works, “If you have more you won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

Which is probably true. He avoids drinking his own brand of coffee after seven, knowing full well how strong it is, because as he said to her, he can’t sleep if he does.

“If you say so, I must trust you, huh?” She chuckles as she places the mug to her lips to drink, and Dean notices the gloss on it, thinks he wouldn’t mind if he has some of that gloss smeared on his.

He grins and he lifts the mug to his own lips and shrugs, “My coffees are quite strong,”

Y/N sets down her coffee, “Oh, that, I’ve noticed. But it’s really good. Why do you think I keep coming here?”

_ Because of me _ , he wants to say, because that’s what he hopes and he blushes, lowers his head a little to chuckle and feels the crinkles around his eyes deepening, feels his ears burning up. 

Of course he doesn’t say it, he just keeps being flustered.

When he composes himself, he lifts his head to look at her, “I thought maybe my shop’s the only one close to where you live.” He says instead.

“Well,” She smiles and takes another sip before setting the cup down, “It actually is, I live just around the next corner.”

“So, I’m right.” Dean tries to hide that he’s actually quite excited that she lives so close. How did he not bump into her before? But again, he rarely leaves his shop.

“No, but seriously, if there was another coffee shop nearby I think I’d still find you.”

He gets speechless hearing it. It’s like something clicked inside of him, he just doesn’t know what it is yet. 

They talk some more and he gets to know what she does for a living (works in PR — she used all those fancy words he doesn’t know the meaning to, but it sounds good coming out of her mouth and he could have listened for hours). He also gets to know what she thinks about the city, having learned that she moved into this neighborhood four months ago. Right at the time when she started to show up. 

She’d made him laugh and Dean felt good. Felt that their talk and banter seems easy. Wants to talk some more actually, was so close to bringing up his courage to ask her out properly, when suddenly her phone starts to vibrate on the table and there’s a message lighting up. Dean doesn’t want to pry, but he got a glimpse of the name of the sender and the message was written in capital letters. 

Something starting with Chris—

Dean thinks his heart stops beating for a moment. Of course someone like her would have a boyfriend or a husband. How stupid of him to think that she’d be single as a pringle like he is. Of course, it does have to happen to him. He’s crushing on someone he can’t have. That’s really sad and pathetic. 

Y/N picks up her phone and reads the message. He notices her hand gripping her phone tight, and there’s a big frown on her face before her eyes widen. 

“Shit,” She mutters under her breath and scrambles to gather her things before looking at him, “Sorry, I— I gotta go.”

Before Dean can say anything, she’s already halfway to the door and all he can do is watch her leave. 

He’s confused but he’s more worried. What happened that made her leave in such a hurry? He wants to go after her, but when he gets up, she’s already nowhere to be seen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sunday, September 6th**

Today is the only day out of the week that his shop is closed, and Dean’s on his way to pick up Ben. 

Liz called to say that it wasn’t possible for her to drive the hour into the city to drop him off and Ben’s not allowed to travel to Dean’s place on his own, so Dean volunteered. Maybe also because he wants to get his mind off  _ things _ . 

In particular, he wants to take his mind off of  _ her _ . At least for a couple of hours, because she’s really the only thing he can think of since she upped and left so abruptly the last time he saw her. He’s also a little disappointed he didn’t see her again, because while she quickly dashed to the door, a notebook fell out of her bag and Dean didn’t actually snoop in there, but some sticky notes were pointing out of it, and he guesses that it’s something she needs for work. He was hoping that she’d show up on Saturday to get it, but there was no sign of her and he wanted to return it after closing the shop, but ringing every bell in a mile radius around the shop would have been a little bit too over the top, even for him. 

Dean is glad for the distraction because he thinks that he’ll be overthinking things if he’d stay home. Dean wouldn’t have anything else to occupy himself with, other than roasting coffee and that again would lead him to think about her. Because his mind makes these weird associations when he only  _ hears  _ the word coffee. He’ll end up thinking about why she left so suddenly. It’ll leave him wondering if he did something wrong. And that’s no way to spend his only free day of the week, is it?

He drives through the suburbs, passing beautiful houses along the way. They are small at first, two to four bedrooms, big yard, all in all, modest and cozy, something he’d one day maybe like to have too. The further out he drives, he notices more and more that the houses quickly turn into big mansions. Dean chuckles to himself, thinks that it’s exactly what Liz wanted. She always wanted a guy who could provide her what she thinks she deserves. Dean was clearly not that guy.

Rounding up the corner, he drives up a street and comes to a halt as a security guy steps out of his little hut overlooking the road that leads up to and away from the gated community. 

Dean has to provide the man his driver’s license and name before the guy checks back with the owner of the house he’s visiting. The guy comes back, telling him that the driver’s license will be given back to him when he leaves. 

Well, he didn’t know what he expected as he has never visited someone living in a gated community before, but he certainly did not expect to be treated like some kind of a criminal. Again, he actually shouldn’t be surprised.

The security guy gives him directions and Dean follows it, drives past a big ass fountain with stone figures. It feels like he’s in Italy. Not that he’s ever been there, but maybe one day he will? He always wanted to go there for the coffee’s sake but he’s an awful traveler, flying is not really his thing and if he should go anywhere at all, there has to be someone who is going to help him along the way because he’ll be drunk off his head to bear the long flight. Benny is not a good travel companion, because that dude would be drunk with him and he’ll probably pick a fight on the flight. Their trip would end up in a disaster, Dean just knows it.

He arrives at the house, respective mansion and gets out of his car, because there’s another gate and it’s getting ridiculous. The houses in a gated community have other gates. However, there’s a door on the left to the closed gate of the mansion that is standing open wide. Now,  _ that  _ is indeed ridiculous. 

Dean walks to the back of the car and gets the gifts he prepared for the little happy family before he walks through the door and up the driveway. It takes him a couple of minutes to reach the door of the hideous mansion. Not saying it because he’s jealous, not at all. But it’s absolutely hideous with those big stone pillars, like it should resemble something out of Ancient Greece. He wonders if Liz had a say in this, but maybe it’s her idea. It has been too long and he feels like he doesn’t even know her anymore anyway.

He rings the bell and waits, his heart thumping a little faster, and he doesn’t even know why. Maybe he’s curious about how Liz looks like, now that he hasn’t seen her for a while. Maybe it’s the excitement of seeing Ben again. It has been over two years after all.

Nothing is happening for an awfully long while, but Dean’s not surprised. It probably takes a couple of minutes for anyone to come to the door in this big ass house. 

Now, Dean’s expecting anything. Expected a maid to open up, maybe a driver who’s bored and waits for further instructions. He expected Ben or Liz, but to his surprise, the door opens up to Gordon. The man is dressed in slacks and a white button-down shirt. It’s Sunday for cryin’ out loud. 

“Hi, Dean,” Gordon extends his hand for a handshake, and there’s a smile sitting brightly on his lips. Dean has the feeling that it’s a fake one. A signature smile one uses in his position to woo everyone around him.

“Hey, Gordon,” Dean replies, shakes the man’s hand, and notices that Gordon has a firm handshake. Dean squeezes harder, for fucking good measure, even though Dean has really no ill-will against Gordon and doesn’t need to compete with him, but he feels like the man does just that and Dean’s not one to back out of anything.

“You’re here for Ben, right?” Gordon asks as he opens the door wider for Dean to step in. 

He feels a little off, a little out of place, hesitates with stepping in because god forbid he could have dirt underneath his boots. 

Dean goes in anyway because he doesn’t want to make it more awkward for both of them.

“Yeah,” Dean says, only noticing then that he’s still holding the gifts as his fingers tighten around it. 

“I’ll go get him.”

Dean nods, and he wonders where Liz is. 

Gordon senses his thoughts, “Liz is away having brunch, that’s why she couldn’t drop Ben off.”

“Oh, right,” Dean feigns surprise, “Listen, uh, here, I have packed some beans for you.” He says and holds out the two bags for Gordon to take. 

The man looks at the bags and then at him, seemingly confused. Dean thinks Gordon most likely doesn’t even know if he has a coffee machine in the house because everything is served to him whenever he wishes. 

“Right,” Gordon takes the bags and he looks even more confused. Dean hopes he at least knows where his kitchen is, “I’ll go get Ben, just a moment.”

“Yeah,” Dean nods with a smirk. He actually kind of likes Gordon. Not in a  _ he’s-now-his-best-bud _ kind of way, but more out of pity, maybe. He hopes he’s good to Ben, and by proxy to Liz, because that’s the only thing that counts. The only thing that makes him a good guy in Dean’s book.

While he waits, Dean takes a look around the foyer of the house. There's just no other name for it. Another name wouldn’t even fit. He thinks the foyer is bigger than his apartment but again, that’s not hard, he’s not living like a king, just sleeps like one in a king-sized bed. 

Dean just  _ had  _ to buy the bed, because he figured that if he doesn’t get a lot of sleep, at least he can have a good sleep when he does. There was a memory foam mattress that came with it, and  _ that really _ makes him sleep like a goddamn king. 

Ben comes walking along the hallway and Dean can’t help but get a little misty-eyed. 

“Jesus! You’ve grown!” He chokes out, swallows the tears that build. He’s also being too loud, but being emotional does that to him sometimes. 

Dean pulls the boy into a hug, and Ben buries his face against Dean’s shoulder. It’s good. Really good to see him again.

“You ready for a day full of adventure?” Dean asks with that playful tone in his voice and Ben senses what  _ adventures  _ Dean has up his sleeves because the boy is groaning with an eye roll.

“We’re going fishing, aren’t we?” 

Dean laughs, which prompts Ben to roll his eyes some more.

  
  


*

  
  
  


Ben helped Dean carry out the foldable chairs and set them at the shore of the river before helping him a second time with carrying the cooler over. 

Dean has prepared sandwiches and beers for him, soda for Ben, although the boy asked a couple of times if he could have one too. He let Ben have a taste and Ben figured out that he doesn’t like beer. Dean chuckles at that.

They sat side by side at the peaceful river. There’s a constant sound of water flowing downstream. A light breeze cools their head and there’s a hint of the aroma of fallen leaves in the air. He doesn’t even know if fallen leaves give out an odor, but Dean smells it nonetheless. Autumn is near, and he can’t wait. 

He asked Ben about his new school, asked him about the girl and Ben blushes adorably. Dean learned that Ben’s going to ask her out for homecoming, but he hasn’t had the guts yet. Dean told him to do it tomorrow, the sooner the better. 

“But how?” Ben sinks lower into his seat and sighs. 

Dean clicks his tongue and bites on his lips before they spread into a grin, “Bring her lunch? Something she likes?”

There’s only a glare when Dean looks at Ben.

“Come on, you said you guys eat lunch every other day. You should know what she likes? Bring that!”

“Dean,”

“Ben,”

“I can’t bring her lunch?”

“Why? Girls get hungry too?” Dean lifts his one eyebrow and tilts his head slightly while he stares at Ben.

The boy seems to be thinking, and yeah, there’s a smirk that widens into a grin that’s all teeth, “Yeah, alright.”

“Good boy,” Dean chuckles and reaches over, threads his hand through the boy’s hair.

“Hey!” Ben shouts and swats Dean’s hand away. 

“What? You used to love that!” He says playfully, still laughing softly, and then there it is, the moment the air shifts. The moment he feels Ben’s change in demeanor. 

The boy falls silent, and Dean knows what’s coming. He always asked the same question and Dean always said the same thing. 

“Mom really screwed you over, huh?” Ben says meekly. 

“What?” Dean raises both his eyebrows, frowns a little, too. That’s definitely a new question.

Ben shrugs, but his voice is vibrating. Only a little, someone who doesn’t know him won’t even be able to hear it, “Yeah, I think she made a mistake in ending things with you.” 

“Oh, Ben,” Dean sighs, “Sometimes, things just don’t work out and that’s okay. I don’t regret meeting your mom, don’t regret meeting you, you know?”

“Why didn’t it work out?” Ben asks another new question. What is it with this boy?

Dean makes some noises with his mouth, a habit he has when he’s nervous or thinking hard on what to say next. He looks up at Ben who’s still staring at him and Dean sighs, “We wanted different things.”

It’s Ben’s turn to raise an eyebrow, “What did you want?”

“I don’t know,” Dean starts to say and takes another moment to think, “A home, somewhere I can come back to, a family, someone who’s my ride or die.” 

“And what did my mom want?” 

Dean chuckles darkly, and he licks his lips, also a thing he does when he’s nervous.

Ben rolls his eyes, “Come on, you can tell me, I’m turning eighteen next year! What did my mom want?”

Dean sighs before he speaks, “Gordon.”

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


He drives Ben home after their futile fishing attempt, and lets the motor run because Ben didn’t want Dean to go in with him. 

“I just want to know, Dean, if mom wanted you back, would you take her back?”

Dean frowns so hard he thinks his whole forehead is creasing, but Ben really means it because the boy doesn’t laugh, instead, he just stares.

Sighing, Dean rubs a hand over his face, “Ben, is something going on? Your mom and Gordon, aren’t they happy?”

The boy takes ages to answer.

“They are,”

“So? Why are you asking me?”

“I just want to know. I guess I want you back in my life.”

Dean’s expression changes into something softer and there’s a small smile, “I’m always going to be here for you, you know that.”

Ben nods, before he looks at Dean again, “Are you seeing someone?”

He feels his whole face heating up, Dean doesn’t know if he can hide it from Ben. He’s awful when he’s flustered.

“Oh my god, you are!”

“No!” It comes out louder than Dean intends. Quickly he lowers his voice, “No, I mean, there’s someone I enjoy seeing but we’re not.. I mean I only know her name.”

“Ask her out,” Ben says matter of factly.

“What?”

“Yeah,” The boy shrugs, “If you tell me to ask out Lilith, then you can ask out…” Ben looks at Dean with one raised eyebrow. 

He keeps staring until Dean gives in with a deep sigh.

“Y/N,”

Ben grins, “Y/N. I like that name,”

_ Me too _ , Dean thinks.


	5. Chapter 5

**Wednesday, September 9th**

Dean’s up before the alarm. It doesn’t happen that often since the alarm goes off at 5 AM and waking up before the set alarm doesn’t feel human to him. 

But this morning it happened because he laid awake the whole night. He laid awake last night too, if he’s honest. Sleep is not something that comes easily since he came back from the fishing trip with Ben and had time to be alone with his thoughts again. 

He thought it would be better if he sees her on Monday, that his heart would be calmer when she walks into his shop, and sets up her little workspace Dean had promised her she could have. But that never happened. She never showed up. And it irritates the shit out of him.

Dean pushes it off as she’s probably been busy, has gotten up late, and didn’t manage to come in to grab a coffee. And that she might have forgotten that he told her she could work in his shop. It’s just— it never happened before? She never stayed away on weekdays. Not in the four months he’s served her.

So yeah, he’s worried and he’s grumpy. 

The whole day went by and now it’s almost closing time. He had sent Benny home. Maybe because he had gotten on Dean’s nerves the whole day. Driving him nuts and pulling his leg because Dean’s overly grouchy. But maybe it’s also because it allows him to be alone with his thoughts without having to pretend as Benny’s rants about his girlfriend of the week. Dean’s sick of that too, not that he judges but maybe, if you don’t want to commit, then don’t? Benny’s not one who likes to be tied down, yet he always lets the girls talk him into it, only to dump them several weeks later. There had been scenes in the shop, not nice ones until Dean had had enough and told Benny to never bring a girl here ever again. 

Dean doesn’t know why he’s so sullen, alright? All he knows that it has been five fucking days since she was here last. It’s crazy how hung up he is on her. It’s not really a good thing.

He switches off the lights, only leaving the one at the coffee machine still shining brightly down at him while he starts to clean it. He thumbs over his phone, searches for some tunes to rock out to while cleaning. Because that’s also what he does. He likes to sing while cleaning, which annoys the fuck out of Benny.

His fingers work swiftly on the big machine, every move is programmed into his head, every motion sits right. It’s really mechanical. He's used to it, does it every day and by now, he thinks he’s able to do it with his eyes closed. Dean whistles to the tune of the music as he does, shaking his head, and mumbling the chorus. 

The art of coffee. Roasting the beans, grinding them, making coffee, cleaning the machine. It became his forte, his solace and form of therapy. 

He gets pulled out of his thoughts by a knock at the door.

Dean looks back, thinking it’s the back door. Thinking that maybe Benny’s forgotten something, and Dean has left the key in the lock so the other man can’t get in. When he looks back, there’s another knock and he realizes that it doesn’t come from the back.

He turns back around, sees a shadowy figure by the glass door. It has started to get dark outside, so he can only make out a shape.

Abandoning his task, he walks towards the door, the face of the person who’s knocking is hidden by the sign hanging on his shop door.

When he gets close enough to peek over the sign, Dean’s heart damn near stops beating.

He smiles, his hands are shaking and his legs almost give out, and yet, he still manages to turn the lock and open up.

Y/N looks tired, she looks a little thin. Looks like she hasn’t eaten for a couple of days. Her hair’s up in a ponytail, the circles around her eyes are dark. She hasn’t bothered with any kind of makeup. Dean doesn’t think that she needs any anyway.

“I’m sorry, I—, I didn’t,” She says, and pulls at her too large zipped hoodie that she’s wearing against the chill of the evening. 

Dean can’t help but wonder if it belongs to a man. Gets a little weird feeling deep down in his guts.

“Shit,” She mumbles, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come, you are closing and… god, it’s stupid, I’m sorry,” 

She turns around, and he knows that he has to stop her, and has the feeling that if he doesn’t, it’ll be a while until he’ll get to see her again.

So, Dean clears his throat, pushing words past his lips, “No, Y/N, wait,” He’s proud of himself for bringing anything past his lips, to be honest. Dean watches her turn back towards him and looks at him with that little frown as if she’s not sure. He grins, “Do you want a coffee?”

There’s a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. It makes her face light up and he watches in slow motion as the smile spreads into something bigger. She exhales, tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, “Yeah,” She nods, “I’d like that. Only if it’s not too much trouble.”

How can he say that it’s the least of his troubles? How can he say that he would do so much more if it means that he gets a chance to see that smile again?

Dean doesn’t know, so all he does is shake his head, “Not at all,” He smiles back and waits for her to walk in.

Locking the door behind her, Dean follows her in further, and he notices that she’s looking at the dismantled machine.

“Oh no, you already cleaned,”

“I’m not finished,” He says and slips back behind the counter, “It’s really no trouble. Go sit, I’ll be right up,” Dean reassures her, sees her frowning at him and he has to chuckle, “Really, Y/N. It’s no big deal,”

“‘K,” She nods, bites on her lips. 

He notices that there’s no gloss on it, notices a little cut too. He wonders what caused it.

As she walks further into the shop, Dean turns the music down and switches on some overhead lights. Not all of them of course. He doesn’t want to give people the impression that he’s still open, but just enough so they wouldn’t be sitting in the dark. 

Dean screws the parts back to the machine with skilled fingers. He risks a glance over, sees her sitting at the same table as last time. She’s watching him too, and he feels his face warm up.

Returning to his task, Dean refills the beans and waits for the machine to warm up. When he finishes heating up the milk, he sets two mugs below it and screws the piston in. Soon, the delicious smelling black liquid pours out. 

He makes her a cappuccino. Honestly, he doesn’t know if she drinks any other coffee, but he wants to find out some time. 

Dean drinks his coffee black.

Carrying over the two mugs, his heart thumps a little faster the closer he gets. 

“Thank you so much, you didn’t have to,” She says, her head is a little lowered. It sounds like she genuinely feels bad for stopping by.

“Really,” Dean sits down, “It’s alright, don’t worry about it.” He waves her off, takes a sip of his coffee as he watches her wrap her hands around her mug, and tips it to her lips.

Y/N closes her eyes briefly as she swallows, probably letting the taste flood her nerves and mind. It shouldn’t affect him, but it does because there’s the drumming in his chest that gets slightly faster.

“I’m sorry, really,” She apologizes again, and keeps her mug at her lips, taking another sip, “I just… you know, I… Oh my god,” She sets the mug down and rubs herself over her face, “I can’t even talk,”

Dean chuckles lightly because he knows that feeling too well.

“Okay, again,” Y/N says, after she composes herself, “I didn’t know where to go and I kind of ended up here without me even realizing it. I’m sorry, I really didn’t want to hold you up. I’ll just drink the coffee and then I’ll be out of your hair.”

“Y/N, can you do me a favor?” Dean says with a straight face and a frown that’s not actually meant to intimidate her, but he realizes after he said it that it might have because he can look very intimidating, apparently. He doesn’t agree, but people have told him so.

“Huh?” She cocks an eyebrow at him and he can see the color rise in her face.

“Please stop apologizing? I mean, it’s really okay. It’s my pleasure, I’m actually happy to see you again.” 

There. He said it. Without stuttering too. Although he thinks his heart dropped to his balls for a second and is trying to climb back up.

She exhales audibly and there’s that small smile, “Thank you, I just… You must have other things to do.”

He thinks about her words. Thinks about what awaits him after he cleans the shop. Thinks about his empty apartment, his empty couch, empty bed. 

“I don’t,” He says truthfully, “Are you okay?” Dean asks, he doesn’t know why he does. Perhaps, because he wants to know if she’s okay. He still remembers the last time when she took off so suddenly.

“I am now, yeah,” She answers, her fingers playing with her mug.

“Why did you say you didn’t know where to go?”

“It’s been rough.” Y/N sighs and swallows. She’s about to lift her mug, but her hoodie gets in the way and she pulls the arms of them back a little subconsciously to be able to grip the mug and that’s when he sees it. Dean can not unsee it even if he would fucking try. 

The bruises. It’s a greenish-purple. Meaning that it’s healing.

Dean swallows hard, but he doesn’t say anything, waits for her to set the mug down. 

When she finishes her coffee, she has noticed him staring and is about to pull the arm of the sweater back. His hand shoots out, brushes over her wrist, and Dean thinks that she’s going to swat him away but she doesn’t.

“Who did this to you?” He asks with concern in his voice. 

“It’s nothing,” She mumbles. 

“Y/N,” Dean starts, has to swallow hard because he wonders what other bruises he would uncover if he lets her take off her hoodie. He swallows, because it physically hurts him, it irritates the fuck out of him, too. He calms himself down, at least enough to not burst out in a fit of anger, “I can see you’re not okay. You haven’t been here since Friday.”

“You’ve noticed?” She raises her eyebrow in question.

“Yeah,” Dean chuckles, “I notice when you don’t come and get your coffee. To be honest,” Dean sighs and his heart is beating a little faster, “You’re the highlight of the day, so yeah, I notice.”

She doesn’t say anything, just dips her chin down a little, the color rises in her cheeks. 

“Who did this to you?” He asks again, wondering if it the one who left her a message in all caps last time. That Chris—  _ something _ . Because Dean would like to rip that guy’s lungs out. “Do you need help? Can I help in any way?” He asks, when she still doesn’t answer.

“I—, It’s…. Ugh,” She closes her eyes, “It’s my ex-boyfriend.”

_ Ex.  _

At least it’s an ex. Dean can live with that.

He doesn’t say anything. He sits there, perfectly still and waits until she speaks again because there’s no point in him getting angry, even if he would love to bash that guys head in, for sure. 

“It’s nothing, Dean. It’s over now.”

“Is that why he hurt you? Because you broke off with him?”

“Not necessarily. I was late getting home on Friday.”

Fuck. It was because of him, wasn’t it?

Dean swallows down the guilt he feels, “Shit, I’m sorr—”

“—No, it’s not your fault.” She’s quick to add, “It’s my fault, too.”

“Y/N, no. Someone hurting you is never your fault, you gotta know that.” 

She looks down at her hands in her lap.

“Is that why you didn’t show up? Because you wanted the bruises to heal? That’s why you came here? Because you said you didn’t know where to go?”

Dean sees one single teardrop falling from her eyes to the hand in her lap.

“Shit,” Dean gets up from his chair, walks around, and takes her hands out from her lap. He helps her up to her feet, wraps his arms around her, and lets her cry into his chest. 

While he lets her cry her eyes out, he strokes her back, stroke her head, feels fucking anger towards her ex. 

“Are you scared to go home?”

“Uh-huh,” She mumbles into his chest.

“Does he have a key?” 

“I changed the lock,”

He feels her hand coming around his middle, hugging him back. That’s a start, right? He just wishes he wouldn’t be semi-hard just from that. It’s not the fucking right time.

“Do you want to stay here? I mean, you don’t know me, but I just want to help. My apartment’s right above the shop and I have a spare bedroom.”

Y/N pushes herself away from him and looks up. Her nose is swollen and red, her eyes too. It’s too cute. 

“I can’t,” She says, “I—, I mean I can’t invade your space just because I don’t like to be alone at night.”

“What if I insist?”

“Dean, really, it’s too much.”

“Okay,” He chuckles, “What would you do if you won’t stay?”

She looks down, nibbles at her lips as she thinks, “I think I’d go to the diner close to here, they open till 2 AM.”

“The crowd there’s terrible,” Dean mumbles, he’s been in there before, nobody’s usually sober in there.

“I just have to kill some time.” She shrugs and winds herself out of his embrace. He didn’t even notice that he’s still holding her.

Dean lets his hand drop to his side, missing the feeling of her body pressed to his already, “Kill your time in my apartment,” He says, “That way I know nothing will happen to you.”

  
  


*

  
  


She lets him guide her up to his apartment, let him show her where her bed will be for the night, lets him show her the couch, and that he has a fridge stocked with edible things. 

He excuses himself to go down and lock up his shop, finishing cleaning up his machine in record time.

When Dean comes back up, she’s splayed on his couch, the blanket pulled up to her chin. Netflix is still on, some documentaries about serial killers. He hopes she doesn’t think that he is one. She’s sleeping, and Dean really doesn’t want to wake her, but he does because there’s a perfect bed in the room, she shouldn’t be sleeping on an uncomfortable couch.

“Hey,” He kneels down, hand reaching out to shake her gently.

Y/N stirs just a little before she turns and buries her face deeper into his couch. Dean wonders how much sleep she’d had lately. It might be the safest she felt in days. Maybe, weeks. He doesn’t know, doesn’t even want to think about it because it makes him mad again. 

“Hey, Y/N,” Dean tries again, waiting for a reaction.

When none is forthcoming, he decides to scoop her up and carry her to bed. Dean notices as he pulls the blanket from her body that she has stripped to her shirt. Her one forearm is bruised, as well as her upper arm. Fucker must have had a tight grip around her. 

He curses to himself as he carries her over to his guest room and lays her down. Dean covers her and the shirt and strokes her hair out of her face. His finger brushes along her throat, catching the collar of her shirt. The lighting is not very good, but his eyes can’t miss the bruise along her shoulder. It goes further down too, but Dean doesn’t dare to look. Doesn’t want her waking up and think that he’s being nosy. Which he really isn’t but he’s just… so fucking mad that someone did this to her. 

_ Goddammit. _

Shaking his head, he makes his way out of the room. With a last look back, he closes the door. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Thursday, September 10th**

Dean wakes to his alarm and his hand shoots out to silence it immediately. He’d hate to wake her up. Him having to work doesn’t mean that she has to get up as early as he does. 

When Dean walks out into his living room, he realizes that his concern of waking her up blows up into his face because he sees it immediately. The notepad draped on his kitchen counter, resting against a water bottle. 

> _ Thank you for letting me stay. _
> 
> _ I’ll see you later _
> 
> _ -Y/N _

So she’s gone, huh. Just like that. He can’t lie, it hurts a little. Not that he blames her for leaving. He was just looking forward to seeing her rested and well. 

He wonders if she’ll show up later, hopes that she would.

Walking into the bathroom, he strips himself, feels his morning wood poking at him, and then he remembers that he was half-hard when he felt her hugging him back last night.

Shaking his head and the thought out of his mind, he takes a shower and gets himself ready for the day ahead.

*

  
  


Dean’s serving a customer, having already been in the back and changed the batch of the new roast. It’s way past 7 AM, way past the time she would usually come by and he hopes she will. He’s still unsure. Thinks that maybe she’s afraid of coming over? Thinks that maybe he was too forceful? Too nosy? He was just really upset and he actually held himself back pretty well because he wanted to know everything, wanted her to spill the number and address of the fucker that hurt her. 

Around 9 AM, the morning crowd starts to get less and less as they make way for students and other freelancers to come in and there’s still no sight of her. Dean’s slightly worried. If only he had her number. He thinks he should ask her for it the next time he sees her. 

_ Next time.  _

He hopes there’s a next time. 

Dean starts to make his rounds and cleans the tables when it’s past 10 AM. Every time the bell at the door chimes, he looks up, his heart beating, his hopes flying high, only to be disappointed each time. 

After about five more chimes, he decides that it’s no way to fucking work, so he wills himself to stay focused on his task and not to look anymore whenever someone new comes in. 

He’s clearing the table they sat last night and thinks back to what happened. He’s really hung up on her, isn’t he? This is a little pathetic. He can already hear Benny making fun of him. Good thing the dude doesn’t know that she was in his apartment last night, that she slept in his bed. Well, not exactly his bed but in a bed that actually belongs to him which he initially bought for when Ben would come around, but that happened as good as never since they moved around so much and the boy couldn’t come for sleepovers.

“Hey.”

Dean freezes mid-stroke of cleaning the table because he knows that voice. Has heard it a couple of times and can never get enough of it.

Turning around, he’s greeted by a smile. She looks much better than yesterday, a little more relaxed. The dark circles are gone. The cut on her lips is still there, but they are glistening now with lip gloss. His mouth waters, wants to fucking know how they taste.

“Hi,” He exhales out the word which comes out a little whiff, sounding a little high pitched and he blushes because that’s the most embarrassing thing he let out in a while, “It’s good to see you,” He adds with a voice that is a little lower. At least there’s that, huh?

“I’m just gonna—” She Y/N jerks her head towards the table that Dean now considers as their table.

“—Ah, yeah—, sure.” Dean nods as she pushes past him to walk to her table before he continues to finish clearing the table he’s at. 

Turning around after finishing, Dean sees that she’s already set up her laptop and Dean takes the empty mugs and walks over to where she’s sitting. 

Dean sits down too, gives her the password to his wifi, and watches as she starts to connect. The laptop dings a couple of times, signaling messages and emails that came in. 

When she doesn’t seem so occupied anymore, he asks, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I am,” She answers with a smile, “Thank you so much for insisting I stay. I didn’t know how much I needed a good night’s sleep.”

He might not know, but he thinks he has a pretty good understanding of it. Dean also wants to ask more, actually wants to talk to her, but she’s obviously here to work so he’ll let her do that for the time being. Besides, he still has a lot of work to do himself. He’s pretty sure they’ll get to talk soon. So instead of occupying her time, he gets up again with a nod, “Coffee?” 

She breathes out a smile, “Yes, please.” 

Dean nods again, smiles back because hers is contagious. When he has his back to her, he hears her call out for him.

“Can you make it triple?” She asks with raised eyebrows and shoulders and how can he say no to that.

  
  


*

  
  


Dean’s sitting in his office when there’s a knock at the door. His door’s always standing ajar and Benny usually never knocks. 

“I’ll be right there,” He blurts out mindlessly because he’s in the middle of putting numbers into excel and damn he hates that thing, the endless brackets irks him and he never seems to be able to put the right number into the right line or column. Stressful it’s what it is.

“Uh,” The voice comes from the doorway and now Dean knows why there’s a knock, “Benny sent me to bring you lunch?”

“Lunch?” Dean frowns and only realizes now that it’s already 2 PM. He was lost in his work and didn’t even notice that it’s so late already. 

Y/N walks in with a bag full of delicious smelling things and that’s when Dean’s stomach starts to grumble. 

“Yeah, it’s already late,” She places the bag onto his desk, “Alright, I’ll be outside,” 

“Wait,” He says as she turns around and watches her turning back, “Have you had lunch?”

She smiles, “Nah, but I’ll go grab something,”

“We could share?” He suggests, “Benny always orders so much anyway, I think my fridge is still full of food we couldn’t finish last week.”

“Dean, really, I don’t want to intrude.”

“You aren’t.” 

It’s the truth, she isn’t. He’s happy to have company to be honest. Working in the back is dull and Jesus, now he thinks about asking her if she wants to work in here so that he would have company and she would have her peace away from the commotion outside? 

Maybe he will ask. One day. Not today, though. He shouldn’t jump the gun.

“Please?” He looks up at her with hopeful eyes, smirking a little as he does.

Dean can literally watch her lips curve up into a smile. 

“You have freckles,” She states, her eyes roaming over his face and Dean doesn’t know why, but he blushes some more. Don’t get him started on the pounding of his heart.

He knows that he does. Never really liked them. And they’re not just on his face either.

“Ugh, yeah, lots.” He rolls his eyes dramatically, making her chuckle.

Taking the opportunity of the good vibe, he gets up and pulls another chair to his desk, sets his paperwork aside, and begins to take out the containers from the bag she brought for him. Benny did it deliberately, he just fucking knows. He’s never going to hear the end of it, Dean knows that too. But that’s a subject for the evening, when they would sit down and drink a beer together which they normally do unless Benny has a date and has to hurry home.

“C’mon, sit.” He says while still unpacking and when she still doesn’t sit he looks at her with cocked eyebrows, “Y/N, I insist.”

“Fine,” She huffs out, but there’s a small smile and Dean takes that victory. 

He watches her shovel in food, thinks it’s a nice sight. She probably hasn’t eaten nearly enough the last couple of days and knowing the fact makes him angry again.

“Have you been to the police?” It blurts out of him without even thinking. He knows it’s not his place so he adds, “I’m sorry, I just… you don’t have to tell me, of course. I just really want to help.”

Y/N swallows down the mouthful of food that she stopped chewing at one point when he blurted out the question, downs it with some water before she looks back at him. 

“I was there, yeah.”

Oh thank god.

Dean doesn’t say anything, just breathes out relief and he guesses that she knows because she nods. 

She goes on, “I have a restraining order against him but I don’t trust it.”

“Did they take him in?” He can’t not ask. 

There’s another nod, “He’s out on bail.” And then it’s like the floodgate opens up and tears start to form and run down her cheeks before she lays her head in her hands, “You know, you’re the first person I’ve told this to.”

_ Jesus _ , it takes all the self control he has to not just pick her up and pull her into his lap and let her cry into his chest. 

His hands shake, so he drops the container of food that he’s been holding back on his desk. Instead of pulling her to his lap, like he really wants to do, Dean kneels down on the floor, places his hand on her thigh and strokes little circles on it to calm her down. 

“Hey,” He says, “Shhhhh, it’s okay, I’m here,” 

Her hands leave her face, and she balls them together in her lap, tears still flowing.

Dean’s hand goes up, brushes away at the tear streaking her cheeks with the pad of his thumb, “You’re safe with me, okay? Listen,” He clears his throat, “I know it might take a lot for you to trust but I’m here. You can always come here, alright?”

She nods.

“And if you need help with anything, you have got to let me know.”

Another nod. 

Her breathing evens out a little, and that’s a good sign, right? He looks up, watching her brush at her eyes. He absolutely hates to see her like this.

“I’m sorry,” Y/N starts to say, “I don’t want to be a burden. I’m—”

“—You aren’t,” He cuts in. 

“Yeah, well, you’d be the first who says this.” There’s a chuckle full of self pity. It hurts Dean’s head. And his heart.

Her hand goes to his own that are still resting on her thighs, she grabs them, squeezes at them for reassurance. Dean nods, because he understands. Sometimes, there just doesn’t have to be words. 

He gets up to sit back into his chair and she stands up from hers.

Dean looks up at her, cocks his eyebrow.

“I gotta go back to work,” She points her thumb towards the door, “Thanks, Dean.”

“Yeah,” He says, “Yeah, okay, I’ll see you later.” He smiles a warm smile. It’s the only thing he has to offer that comes from his heart. 

After she leaves, Dean packs the leftover food back into the bag. Well, that’s a meal ruined and only because he couldn’t keep his mouth shut. It’s just impossible because he’d like to know more, wants to know what hell she went through in order to help make it all better.


	7. Chapter 7

**Sunday, September 13th**

After the first meal they shared, Y/N brought food the next day and Benny would eat his share while Dean man’s the shop. Same goes for Saturday, even though she didn’t have to work, but she came here anyway. He thinks it’s because of what he said to her. That’s he’s here and she can come here anytime. Maybe she feels the safest here. Dean hopes she does.

While Dean works, she would sit in her spot at her table. Well, the table is hers now because on Friday morning, Dean put up a sign on the table that read _ “reserved” _ . 

She didn’t know what it meant at first, and was already walking to another table until Dean had to abandon the coffee he’s making for a customer and walk up to her to tell her that the sign is there for her. She chuckled and smiled shyly at that and Dean blushed. Of course he did, but that’s happening more and more lately that he doesn’t even care to hide it anymore.

When Benny would emerge from the back where he would eat his meal and smoke his cigarettes, Dean would take his break and she’d join him. They would sit in his office, eat their meal and talk. 

It’s nice. Dean very much enjoys her company. It would be nicer if his heart wouldn’t beat as fast as it does every time. 

Y/N told him a little of her back story and Dean got to know that she’s an only child. That her mother left the family to be with someone else when she was little. That she grew up with an alcoholic father who didn’t really care about her. She came to the city because of her ex — which Dean’s still upset about whenever she mentions him, and now she’s alone because as abusive relationships go, he didn’t allow her to have any friends. She told him that Dean’s the first person she has felt connected to, and that of course, made him blush again. 

They didn’t go into details about her life, though but that’s enough for Dean. He doesn’t want to pressure her into anything she doesn’t want to talk about on her own. 

When he saw her coming in on Saturday, he was surprised, but somehow he was also not. He enjoys having her in his shop, even though she did nothing other than sit at her table and reading a book. 

In any free moment, he would go join her, bring her coffee and they struck up a comfortable friendship in that short amount of time. 

And that’s also the story on how she’s sitting on his couch on a rainy Sunday afternoon. They just had lunch together which she brought. The menu today was Chinese. Maybe, Dean thinks, it’s because on her way over here, she passed a Chinese restaurant. 

He still doesn’t know where she lives and he’s not asking. She told him, though, that she plans on moving out and Dean just hopes that it’s not going to be too far away.

After the meal, he made her coffee. It’s not the same as in his shop. The coffee machine in his apartment can’t do fancy things, but he’s using the same beans so at least there’s that. She doesn’t complain, though, even if the milk isn’t as warm and foamy as in her cappuccino he usually makes. 

The apartment isn’t big, and it’s weird but whenever Ben is over, which Dean can still count the amount of that happening on one hand, the apartment feels crowded. Like Ben’s taking too much space for his size. Dean always puts him off saying he’s not being used to sharing a space with anyone anymore. But with her? That’s another story. It doesn’t feel crowded to him. It feels comfortable, cozy. Like somehow she belongs here and maybe, she always did. Maybe she’s the missing puzzle piece that he didn’t even know he was missing. 

They settle on the couch and Dean picks up the remote when his phone vibrates on the coffee table. 

Dean leans forward to pick it up, sees that it’s Ben. He tilts his head towards her, “Can I take this real quick?” 

She shrugs with a smile, “Sure, you don’t need to ask me.”

“Yeah, no, just don’t want to be rude.” He chuckles low.

“If you don’t take it now they’ll hang up, Dean,” There’s a playful smile on her face and it takes Dean a second to remember what he’s supposed to be doing because he got lost in that smile.

Swiping his thumb over the screen, he picks up, “Hey, Buddy,”

“I just wanted to let you know that I have asked Lilith out,” Ben said on the other end. 

Dean grins, “Did ya?”

“Yeah,”

“What did she say?”

“Uh, she said yes!” Ben’s laughing now and Dean can’t help but laugh with him. He looks over to Y/N, sees her grinning, “I was thinking that I’m going to ask her out on a proper date first, that way it won’t be too awkward, what do you think?”

He nods, “That’s some good thinking right there, Ben. I’d do that too. Where are you gonna take her?”

“I was thinking about taking her to the movies, maybe grab a bite after. Gordon is letting me have his car,”

“Well, that’s very nice of Gordon then, and you bring her home right after? Or do you guys have a place where you go and make out?”

“Dean!”

He’s laughing, “Relax, Ben, it’s perfectly normal. You’re seventeen. I remember we had a lot of places…” Suddenly he remembers that she’s still here so he looks over, sees her holding back a laugh, “Well, you know what I mean,” Dean says while his face lights up in all different shades of pink.

“Why can’t you talk?” Ben says suspiciously.

“Uh,” 

“Is someone with you?” 

Dean clears his throat, before he pushes the phone closer against his face, “Yeah.”

“Y/N?”

“Ben,”

“Dean,”

He groans, “Yeah.”

“Wow, and you pick up when you’re with her? Dean, I thought you knew better than that!” The boy’s laughing over the phone and Dean rubs a hand over his face.

He leaves his hand on his scruff, scratches it, “I picked up because it’s you and I told you that you can reach me anytime, didn’t I?”

“You did,” Ben says meekly, “But still…”

“Let’s go back to your date, shall we? You take her to that place and I can imagine that there’ll be some kissing,”

“Dean, gross!”

“Oh, please, don’t give me that.” He chuckles and risks a glance over to Y/N, sees her giggling in silence.

Dean turns his attention back to the call, “What do you do when she tells you to stop with whatever you’re doing?”

There’s a short silence before the boy struggle to answer, “Uh,” 

“Ben, this is not a trick question!” He scolds through the phone and his hand goes to his forehead. 

“Stop! Alright? I’ll stop.” Ben shouts. 

“Good, because you should,” Dean mumbles, and looks over to her, sees her looking down to her empty mug of coffee, “So, Ben,”

“No worries, I’ll call you some other time.”

“Yeah,” Dean closes his eyes and smiles, is thankful that Ben understands him, “Do that. Bye, Ben.”

“Bye, Dean.”

He hangs up and sets the phone back on the table. 

“Your son?” Y/N asks, and Dean turns around to see a small smile on her face. He sits back on the couch, folds his one knee so he can face her. 

Draping an arm over the back of the couch he shakes his head, “No, he’s not my son,”

“Oh,” 

Dean sighs, wonders what he can tell her and how. He swallows before he speaks, “I used to date his mom. Sometimes things don’t work out, but in the year that I was living with them, Ben and I got to be friends. He calls me up when he has problems mostly because he’s annoyed with his mother. She calls me up when she’s annoyed with Ben.”

“That’s nice,” She grins, “I mean, the bond you have, that’s nice.”

He smiles at that, because she’s right, “Yeah, I think so too.”

“Do they live here?” She asks and adds with her next breath, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to be nosy. You don’t have to answer.”

“Nah,” Dean shakes his head, “It’s alright. After we broke up she remarried and moved away with Ben. They move around a lot and just moved here about a year ago. Well, not exactly here but close to here.”

“You must be happy to see him more often then,” She smiles a warm smile. 

“Well, we don’t get to see each other that much, since my only day off is Sunday, and most of the times he has practice or games he has to attend.”

“Oh no, and now I’m here,” Placing her mug onto the little table she proceeds to stand up and picks up the things she laid out on the table, picking up her keys she turns around to face him, “I’m sorry, I never thought you’d have other plans. I’m being selfish. Let me just pick up my things and I’ll be—”

“—Hey,” Dean stops her, reaches out and grabs her wrist, “Y/N, calm down. It’s okay. I would have told you if I didn’t have time for you.”

She stops in her tracks and looks at him with that look that breaks his heart. As if she’s expecting him to scold and lash out at her. When she sees that he has no intention to do that, her shoulders relax and she lets out a breath of relief. 

“Please tell me when I annoy you, okay?”

Dean chuckles, “I will. Now sit down,” He pats the space next to him and she sits down willingly, “I enjoy your company, you’re really not a bother. So, what do you want to watch?” He picks the remote up and turns on the TV to zap through the channels. 

There’s silence but he doesn’t think any of it, continues to zap through until her voice cuts through the TV sound. 

“You never asked me what happened,” Y/N says, her voice is a little shaky, “I appreciate that, thank you.”

He nods, “You talk when you’re ready to talk, and I respect that.”

She sits with her back leaned against the couch and pulls her legs to her chest, “What if I want to talk now?”

Turning off the TV, he sets the remote back on the table before turning to her, “Then I’d say that I’ll listen.”

Dean leans back against the couch and folds his leg once again to be able to face her while she too sits facing him, her knees pulled up to her chest once more as she rests her chin on her knees. 

They are so close, he could reach out, could touch her, could pull her into an embrace — but he doesn’t. Not yet. Not now.

Y/N is not looking at him when she speaks, not really, she trains her eyes on his feet. Maybe it’s also his crotch, he can’t really tell but he highly doubts that it’s the latter.

“His name is Christian Campbell. Chris,” She mumbles, her lips almost not moving.

Pressing his lips into a thin line, Dean watches her. Now he has a name. Maybe something bad will happen to Chris, he doesn’t know yet. He tries not to be upset, at least he tries not to show it, but he balls his hands into fists.

“Funny thing is that I met him in a coffee shop,” She chuckles tiredly, Dean doesn’t think it’s funny so he keeps himself mum, “I came into the city for an interview and he came here looking for a job too. It somehow clicked. But I don’t know,” She shakes her head, “I don’t know if things turn out the way they did because I felt like I needed someone beside me.” She looks at him now and Dean notices her eyes glistening, “Maybe I just needed company, someone who was new here too. Someone who I could conquer the city with. It’s stupid, I know,” 

“It’s not,” He whispers, because it’s really not. 

“Anyway,” She sits up a little straighter, but her arms are still around her legs and Dean dares to place a hand on her knee. She doesn’t push him away, instead, she keeps on talking, “I went back home and when I got the call about getting the job, I rang him up. We met again, and things moved real fast. He asked me if I wanted to move in with him, since it’s cheaper if we share rent and I really believed him,” 

There’s that tired chuckle again and she closes her eyes, making the tears that pooled in her eyes run down her cheeks. 

His hand shoots out automatically, knuckles brushing away at her cheeks. And she lets him.

“I was so naïve, huh?”

“It’s really not your fault,” Dean says. He wants to ask her things, though. He wants to ask how long they were together. It’s just a question to quench his curiosity, not something that is important, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“We found an apartment, it was great. We explored the city together, went out, dined in. What I thought was weird was that he never wanted me to go anywhere on my own except to work. I made some friends there and we would go for afterwork drinks. Chris would show up unannounced and drag me home. And slowly, he started to alienate the people I was close with. I never saw it coming.”

She shakes her head and drops her forehead on her knees, just that this time, Dean’s hand is still there. She jerks her head back briefly and looks down to his hand. Without a word, she lays her forehead on the back of his hand.

After a pause, she looks up again, “After a while, he lost his job and it got worse. We had to survive with my money and we moved out of our apartment, moved into this neighborhood.”

“Four months ago,” Dean voices his thoughts aloud.

Y/N nods, “He became controlling, always wanted to know where I was. One night I came home late because I had a late meeting. That’s the first time he lashed out, grabbed my arms and shoved me against the wall before he pushed me against the chest of drawers right by the entrance and choked me.”

Dean doesn’t know if he can listen to all of this. He gets mad. Wants to punch something — preferably Chris.

Pausing to tuck her hair behind her ear, she takes another deep breath before she goes on, “I cried and he showed remorse, picked me up and set me on the couch. He cried too, said he was sorry, that he was stressed. He promised me that it wouldn’t happen again and I believed him. The next time came, of course it did. He always made sure that he didn’t hurt my face. But it doesn’t mean that the pain anywhere else was any less.”

She lays her forehead on his hand again as she speaks with her head low, “He always said that he’ll change. That it was the last time. That he was sorry. That Friday when I was here, he sent me a message, demanding I go home. I turned up and that’s when he punched me in the face. I hadn’t even stepped foot into the apartment, but he was there to greet me. He pulled my hair and dragged me inside. And I let it happen. I know I shouldn’t but I felt like I didn’t stand a chance. I’m so fucking stupid.”

The last couple of sentences comes out choked because she’s crying loudly.

“Hey,” Dean whispers, his other hand strokes over the back of her head, “You did nothing wrong, okay? If someone did something wrong it’s him, you hear me?”

She’s still crying and Dean can’t stand it, so he takes his hand from her knees, grabs her gently and places her sideways into his lap. Immediately she hooks her arms around his neck and cries into the crook of it. He soothes her with backstrokes and words of whispers. Promises spill from his lips. Promises that everything’s going to be okay. That he’s here. That she’s safe.

When her sobbing dies down, she sniffs a couple of times. Dean feels that his skin is wet, the tears soaked into his shirt, but he can’t care about that. 

Y/N’s face emerges from his neck and Dean tilts his head, looking at her swollen and wet eyes. Still beautiful, the tears have got nothing on him. 

There’s a couple of hiccups before she speaks, “When he calmed down enough, he went into the kitchen, to grab something. I don’t know if it was a drink he left there or if he wanted to do more damage, but I took the opportunity, fled the apartment and ran out into the street. I didn’t know where to go so I kind of waved down a taxi and the driver saw the state I was in and drove me right to the police station.”

“You could have come to me,” Dean speaks his thoughts aloud again, without him even realizing. 

“I didn’t really know you then.” 

He nods. That’s right, she didn’t. But he would have helped. He knows he would have.

“They took down everything and went to the apartment. Chris was still there. He probably hoped that I was so foolish that I would come back. Maybe he knew that I had nowhere else to go.”

That’s so sad. It breaks Dean’s fucking heart. He actually doesn’t need to know anymore. It’s quite a big chunk to digest and he can see that she’s tired from all the crying. It’s getting dark outside already.

Dean pulls her back into his neck, and she cries some more, it’s not as much,but he knows that she does because his skin is bathed in fresh tears. He strokes her head and runs his hand up her back until the tears dry up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Monday, September 14th**

  
  


Dean’s standing behind the machine in his shop. It’s a little past 6.00 AM. Judging by the lights in the stores and the people hurrying down to the subways and waiting at bus stops, the city is starting to wake up.

He’s doing his morning routine, restocking and cleaning some items that accumulated dust over Sunday. It’s not much, but he needs the counter to be spotless. With a push of the button, Dean restarts the machine and enjoys the little humming tune it makes. It really is his favorite sound in the morning.

By 6.30 AM he serves his first customer. It’s a weird Monday, he thinks. So much different from others. Maybe, it’s because he’s not really waiting on someone to show up. No, because he knows where she is and strangely, it calms him. 

Mondays are always hectic, though, so as usual, Benny comes in earlier too, and they work the counter together like a team. 

While Dean serves customers, he can’t help but think about the girl laying upstairs in his bed. Well, it’s not really  _ his  _ bed but it’s his guest bed and he bought the bed, so actually it’s also  _ his  _ bed, and ugh, why is he so fixated on details anyway? 

Last night, Y/N ended up crying some more, and Dean held her until her body slumped down in his grip, exhausted from all the crying. 

They didn’t talk much more afterward. She had basically said everything already and sometimes, Dean thinks, it’s good to be able to enjoy the silence together. If he’s honest, he didn’t know what to say. He’s not really a man of words, especially when it comes to feelings, and he’d rather  _ show  _ her that he’s here for her. 

He made her some soothing tea, got her to eat some leftovers he found and they watched a movie together, which Dean doesn’t even remember what it was all about. All he remembers is that she had leaned her head against his shoulder. After a while, Dean made it more comfortable for both of them and draped his arm around her, letting her cozy up against his broad chest, hoping that she wouldn’t hear how fast his heart was beating.

She fell asleep about thirty minutes into the movie, and Dean let her sleep in his arms until the movie finished. He wanted to wake her up, he really did, but he just couldn’t bring himself to disturb the peace of her sleep. She looked so cute and his heart melted a little. So, instead of waking her up, he carried her into the spare bedroom and laid her down, tucking her in, secretly hoping that she wouldn’t mind that he did that. Hoping that she won’t be mad he didn’t wake her up.

When Dean went to leave the room, she stirred and mumbled something. Her face twisted and she started to wail. He wondered what to do, remembered that when he lived with Ben, something that helped when Ben had nightmares was, when someone held the boy tight. 

So, that was what Dean did. He got into bed, spooned her from behind and wrapped his arms around her while he whispered soothing words into her ear. They were promises. Promises that he’d be here. That she didn’t have to be afraid anymore.

Dean didn’t think he’d fall asleep too, though. Didn’t take into account he would feel the level of contentment he did hearing her breathing evenly and with her warm body against his.

The next thing he knew, he woke up still in her bed at 4.56 AM, his arms still around her. 

He left the room with her still sleeping soundly while he hopped into the shower to take care of his morning wood. Can’t lie, he was a little ashamed when he rubbed himself off, but he woke up so hard it was almost painful. It shouldn’t be like that, but he was a man and he had just woken up next to a girl that he actually really liked. 

Dean is lost in thought as he begins preparing a coffee when Benny closes the register after collecting money from a customer. His friend turns to Dean, cocks an eyebrow at him. Dean notices this out of his peripheral vision. 

“What?” Dean cocks one of his own eyebrows, replicating Benny’s look.

“She’s not coming, huh?” Benny smirks, “You scared her away?”

“Why? Are you waiting for her?” Dean plays dumb. He actually really does enjoy riling his friend up.

Benny groans, “No but you are?”

“No,” Dean shakes his head and places a lid on the cup, “I’m not.”

“Dean, it’s fucking 7.56 AM. She’s not here yet.” Benny waves with both his arms, and doesn't understand how Dean’s still so calm.

Dean raises his eyebrow again, “And? What’s your point?” 

“You know what? Forget it,” Benny frowns at him and turns around to smile at a customer, “Good morning, what can I get for you?” 

Dean chuckles to himself while he shakes his head. 

A half hour later as Benny starts to talk about Y/N not coming again, the door to the back of the shop opens and they both turn their head. It’s not usual for the door to open, not when they are both in the shop. 

Dean can see Benny’s jaw dropping down as his friend watches Y/N walking into the shop through the back. He looks at Dean with one single eyebrow raised. Dean’s grinning cockily at him before he makes his way out from behind the counter to greet her.

She’s a little embarrassed, he can feel it because she’s hugging her arms around her. It seems awkward for her, but it really shouldn’t be.

“Morning,” Y/N says as she stares down and tucks her hair behind her ear. When she looks up again, there’s a smirk tugging away at the corner of her lips. 

“Good morning,” Dean smiles back, “You okay? Sleep alright?”

“Yeah,” She says shyly, “I’m sorry, I—, you should have woken me up.”

“Y/N, it’s no problem. In fact, you can stay over anytime you feel like it, okay? As I said, I like your company and I’m glad I can be of any help.”

“You’ve helped me more than you think, Dean.” There’s a small smile. She’s all shy. It’s super cute.

He gets all flustered too, his cheeks getting warm, “You’re going to work today?” 

“Yeah,” She answers him with a bigger smile, “Gonna go get my laptop at home first. I’ll be back.”

“Great,” He nods, “I’ll have your coffee ready when you come back, “Saved a muffin for you too.”

She smiles with her bottom lip tugged between her teeth and Dean isn’t prepared for that because nobody really could prepare him for what’s happening. 

Standing on her tiptoes, she places her hand on his shoulder and cranes her neck while she places a kiss on his cheek. 

Parting again, she whispers to him another  _ thank you _ , and Dean blushes visibly.

He watches her leave through the front door with a big grin, and as soon as she’s out of his sight, he turns his eyes back to Benny who’s grinning at him like a damn fucking idiot himself. 

“Fuck you,” Benny mutters under his breath as Dean steps back behind the counter.

“Me? Why?” Dean fakes surprise.

“Well played, dude, well played.” Benny laughs and throws a cloth in Dean’s face.


	9. Chapter 9

**Wednesday, September 16th**

They carried on with the same ritual afterward and things began to get easy. She opens up more to him and in return, Dean tells her about himself too. Told her about Ben, about his shop, about him. 

Dean thinks it’s essential to open up to someone if you want to be friends with them. And he does want to be friends with her. He does with his whole heart. 

Yesterday, Y/N stayed behind and helped him close up the shop. She even helped him clean, even though Dean told her not to, but somehow, she found the supply closet and walked back into the shop with a bucket of soap water and a wet mop while Dean was cleaning the machine. Dean told her to drop it, but she stuck her tongue out while he rolled her eyes at him and instead of dropping it, she walked to a corner and started to mop away. He had to chuckle at that, shaking his head while his hand worked on drying the pieces of the machine he just washed. 

They worked together in silence while Led Zeppelin blared from the speaker in the background. Dean made sure to not put the music on too loud and she didn’t complain about his taste in music, so he took it that she liked it too.

After they had finished, she didn’t act like she wanted to go home. Dean could see it in the way she was fidgeting nervously with her hands. It’s that kind of night, he guessed. The ones where she doesn’t want to be alone and he gets it. He’s actually glad about it, but he can’t say that aloud, obviously.

He invited her up and they cooked a meal together. She ended up staying the night. Nothing happened, though, not that he would be appalled if anything had. He is going to give her time, it’s the least he can do. Dean thinks it’s enough that she trusts him to stay over at all and he’s taking that as a personal win. 

This morning, after she went home, she returned to work at her usual table and when lunchtime came around, she went out and came back with burgers and fries for him and Benny. 

Benny has gotten used to the daily lunch deliveries and Dean thinks that Benny likes Y/N more than he likes Dean. But again, Benny would like anyone who brings him lunch on a daily basis. 

Dean ate his burgers with her in his office. He has come to enjoy this part of the day the most. Sure, when she stays after closing and they go up to his apartment, that tops everything. But the lunch they have while he shuts himself from the responsibilities of his shop; that is something else. It’s a welcome break he never knew he needed and it’s something she showed him. She proved how important it is to take his mind off work, even if it’s just for thirty minutes. 

It's closing time and she’s still working away on her laptop. There’s a crease between her eyebrows. Dean doesn’t interrupt her, even though he so much wants to ease the creases away. Instead, he starts his closing routine.

As he completes the proceeds, she is still sitting there, clicking away on her laptop. Her face is illuminated by the glow of the screen and she looks adorably cute. He’s finished with everything for the night, so he guesses that it’s time for her to stop working too. Y/N taught him to take breaks and it looks like she needs one right now. 

He still doesn’t want to interrupt, so he just sits himself down in the chair across from her and it seems like she notices because the frown deepens a little as she clicks on something and then all of a sudden, the frown is gone. She looks up at him from behind her laptop, eyes glowing with the light of the screen. 

“You want me to leave, huh?” She asks and there’s a little smile. It’s a tired one, he can see that.

Dean shrugs, “You don’t have to, but I’d rather you take a break. You’ve been going at that laptop for hours,”

She closes it loudly with a groan and slumps over it, “Ugh, I have this thing to finish for my meeting tomorrow.”

Chuckling, he reaches out, rubs over her arm, “Hey, come on, you need a break. You deserve it, just a short one, please?” 

Peeking from her arms, she looks up at him, her forehead creasing as she does and it looks super cute too. His heart does that weird thing at the sight. 

“Just because you said please,” She grins and Dean chuckles some more. 

He takes that as a  _ yes _ , and stands up, waits for her to gather her things and they leave for his apartment.

  
  
  


*

  
  


After a meal, he suggested they watch something mindless on TV, but she’s already shaking her head and it seems like she’s nervous. Seems like she’s afraid to tell him that she can’t stay. Her being afraid of him is the last thing he wants.

“I, uh, I’m sorry, I really have to go home because there’s a hard drive with things on it that I need, and, uh, I have to be up ear—”

“—Y/N,” Dean interrupts her, “It’s really okay, you don’t have to be afraid of saying no to me. I understand,” He adds with a calm and low voice. 

“K,” She nods her head and bites down on her bottom lip, her gaze still trained at the floor.

Dean steps closer, pushes his hand below her chin and tilts it up so she would look him in the eyes, “It’s really okay,” He smirks, and she’s nodding again. 

They are so close. He could kiss her now. It would be easy and god knows how much he would want to feel those lips on his own. They felt great on his cheeks, he doesn’t doubt that, and knows they would feel even better on his lips—

—but he doesn’t. 

Instead, Dean releases her chin and picks up her jacket from the couch, “Come on, let me walk you home,”

He walks to the door, waits for her to gather her backpack, and reaches out his palm for her to lay her hand in his. She smiles when she does. 

They walk the short distance with her hand in his. She never lets go of him, and Dean doesn’t pull back either. Why should he when her hand fits so good into his?

The only time he had to let go of her hand is when she retrieves her apartment keys from her backpack. Dean stands there, waiting for her until she has her door open. She drops the bag into the apartment and lights it up. He risks a glimpse, sees the couch and a TV. It looks cozy, equally small as his. Only when he sees that he can leave her be and she’d be safe, does he take a step back. 

“‘K,” Dean clears his throat, “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

It comes out a question, yeah, because he wants to see her tomorrow, hopes she’s not tired of him and his shop yet. 

“Yeah,” Y/N stands in the doorway, arms crossing over her chest, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Dean. And thank you.” There’s a smile and it’s contagious because Dean has to smile back. 

“Great,” He nods and takes another step back.

He’s ready to turn around and dash down the stairs when her voice stops him.

“Dean?”

“Yeah?” He turns around again, takes a step closer. God, he wants to reach out and touch her. 

“I was just wondering, uh, why you haven’t kissed me yet.” Y/N rubs a hand on her arm nervously. 

_ Jesus _ . That’s the only thing he actually wants to do right now. 

“I, uh,” It’s his turn to stammer a little and he scratches his head before he rubs a hand over his scruff, “I’m afraid that if I kiss you, it might get to be a habit and I’m not good at getting rid of habits—”

Dean was not prepared for what happens after the words left his lips, was not prepared for her to jump up but he acts out of instinct, catches her, and wraps his arms around her while she bumps her nose clumsily against his. 

There’s some more bumping of noses because they are both too busy grinning to kiss properly and that’s something Dean’s not used to. Haven’t felt like this since his teenage years. 

Finally, her lips hit its target and Dean closes his eyes, relishing himself in the feeling of her soft lips against his. She opens up a little and Dean’s not forcing anything, only letting the tip of his tongue tease along her teeth. He wants her to lead, wants her to show him what she wants, how far she wants to go. Only allowing himself to take what she’s willing to give him. 

She kisses him harder and Dean grins while he keeps up. He can’t lie that even though they are both very clumsy, it’s the best kiss he’s ever had. 

After a while, she breaks the kiss, and Dean lets her down. Both of their faces are flustered and her lips are swollen and shiny. Some kind of weird pride washes over him, because he knows that it’s him who did that to her. 

Her hand comes up to his face, fingers touching his lips, brushing away the spit of both of them and Dean can’t stop smiling like a complete idiot.

“I would invite you in, but I really have to work,” She mumbles and is back to being nervous again. 

“Yeah, no, that’s okay, I understand,” He says, and adds, “I’ll see you tomorrow,” 

Y/N smiles, “Yeah, tomorrow.” 

He leans in because he can’t help himself, kisses her lips once more and she has to chuckle at that.

When Dean pulls back, he shrugs, “Told you it’s going to be a habit,” 

One of his hands goes to her cheek, brushes at it, and Dean just knows that he needs to leave now because if he doesn’t, he’ll never be able to. He steals a last kiss, whispers into it, “Good night, sweetheart.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Thursday, September 17th**

  
  


Y/N’s been away the whole day already and Dean hasn’t seen her yet. Well, that’s not entirely true. She came in this morning for her coffee to go and Dean walked around the counter to give it to her, stole a kiss too. As he said, it’s really becoming a habit and it’s hard to get rid of something that makes his heart feel content. 

When she turned around to leave, he spun her back around again, didn’t care about the eyes of the other customers on him because they didn’t matter, and gave her another kiss. When he parted he whispered to her, “That’s for good luck,” 

There was the softest of smiles on her face as she tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and Dean wanted to kiss her again but he knew that they should all keep going. The customer at the front was already getting impatient.

He wanted to text her, ask her how the meeting went. Wanted to call too, had taken his phone out of his pocket so many times he’d lost track, but he never did. He really doesn’t want to come across as clingy, which he probably is because he always feels the need to know if she’s okay.

It’s about 5.00 PM when Dean is restocking bean bags right next to the shop window, when he catches something in the corner of his eye. He’s surprised to see that it’s her, but again, he shouldn't be. It’s as if his senses are always alerted whenever she’s near. It’s like his body just knows. 

What Dean doesn’t account for is for her to be with some other dude. He stands up a little straighter, watches from the inside, as he marches over to the counter to see better. 

The two of them are having a heated discussion it seems, and the stranger’s hand is around her arm, yanking at her. Dean already moves forward, but then he watches her shoving at the stranger, watches her push him away and she storms towards the shop. As soon as she gets closer though, she alters her way of walking. Her whole posture and behavior calms down.

Quickly, Dean returns back behind the counter, takes the towel out of his apron and pretends to wipe the surface with it. When the bell chimes, he looks up and sees Y/N breathing heavily. But instead of being upset, a small smile starts to spread on her face when their eyes meet. 

Dean wordlessly prepares her coffee while she waits. It’s as if they both know. He doesn’t have to be a genius to know that the guy she argued with was her ex and Dean’s mad, can’t really deny it. Nonetheless, he tries to hide his feelings, tries to act normal, and not ask questions she’s not ready to answer, even though they are resting on the tip of his tongue.

It takes longer because the milk needs to be warmed up so he points his chin towards her table, “Go wait, I’ll bring it,”

Y/N nods before she makes her way over. 

There’s only one more customer in the shop, who’s drinking their coffee at another table while doing work as well, so Dean takes the liberty to give himself a short break. 

He brings the coffee over, sits down across from her and she looks up from her screen when she notices him, smiles a weak smile, “Thank you,” She mouths and Dean can see that she’s tired, even though she would never admit. 

That’s also a thing he’s learned in these past weeks. He’s learned that she tries to be strong and given the circumstances that she has nobody around to help her, it’s the most natural thing to do. He wants to change that. Dean wants to show her that he’s here and it’s perfectly okay and welcomed should she need him to lean on.

Dean only nods because he’s trying to form words in his head, things that he wants to say, but doesn’t know how. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She asks as she holds the mug to her lips. 

“Uh, like what?” He chuckles lightly. 

“You’re doing that thing,” Y/N points her index finger at his face, “The thing where you look down and have one eyebrow raised while you pout a little.”

“What?” Dean frowns, has to chuckle for real because he’s never heard that he’s doing that apparent  _ thing _ . 

She takes another sip before she sets the mug down, “You do that when you don’t know what to say and you’re worried.”

“I do?”

How does she know? Dean is a little surprised that apparently, he’s not the only one who’s been watching her this whole time. He’s been watched as well. 

“Yeah,” She nods, closing the laptop while she moves the coffee mug to the side. Reaching over, she cups one of his hands in hers and turns it so that his palm looks up. Slowly, she paints invisible figures onto it and Dean watches her, “That guy was my ex. He wanted to talk, but I’m not going to.”

Dean nods. He’s glad she opens up to him without him even having to ask, “Good,” 

He debates whether he should tell her to call the police because the dude’s breaking his restraining order, but again, he can’t tell her what to do, right? He’s not her boyfriend. He has no say in anything, really. So instead of being a wise-ass about the situation, Dean takes her hand, squeezes it. 

“Oh,” Y/N says all of a sudden, “Almost forgot!” 

She turns to rummage through her bag, fishes out a big paper bag with the logo of wings on it, the words  _ Angel Cakes _ written across the bag.

Smiling, she holds it out for him, “Got you and Benny something.”

Dean looks up from the bag to her, “Angel Cakes? You’ve been to Cas’ bakery?”

“Yeah,” She smiles, “I was craving something sweet and I remember you gave me a muffin in a bag with the bakery’s name on it. So I went in there and since I couldn’t be here for lunch, I thought this would make up for it.”

“What did you get?” 

“Well,” She shrugs, “I didn’t really know what you liked but apparently Castiel knows, but he had run out of pies.” 

Dean makes a face. He was hoping it would be one of Cas’ pies. 

“The only things left at 3.00 PM were apple cider cinnamon streusel muffins so I got a couple of those, because Cas said you and Benny liked them too. I hope that’s okay?” She raises an eyebrow in question.

“That’s even better,” Dean lies. It is good, no doubt about that, but it’s not as good as the pies Cas’ makes. But honestly, he would probably devour anything she gets him. Dean’s not exactly picky when it comes to food, “Thanks. Benny will kiss the ground you walk on,”

She laughs. It’s a beautiful sight and sound. It’s something that warms his heart.

  
  


*

  
  


After she helped him close his shop, she stayed and instead of cooking today, they ordered pizza. 

After the meal, they zapped through Netflix, his arms around her and her head on his chest. They didn’t really get to choose a movie or series, though because she drapes her arm around his waist, looks up at him and she looks so damn cute that Dean just couldn’t resist kissing her. 

He pulls her up into his lap, kisses her deeper, a little rougher. Her hands are in his hair, his are all over her, can’t help that either. He has the need to feel every inch of her.

Dean doesn’t know how long they’ve been kissing but when he steals a look because the TV screen has gone dark, Netflix is asking them if they are still watching. It’s crazy how fast time flies. Crazy how time doesn’t matter when he’s with her.

She looks down at him, her swollen lips tugged between her teeth, her cheeks flushed and he reaches out, tugs a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“Are you staying?” He asks, his heart thunders in his chest, hopes she’d say yes. 

“Do you want me to?” 

He grins, “Yeah, I’d love for you to stay.”

_ Forever _ . He wants to add, but doesn’t.

“Would you be comfortable staying in my room? In my bed?” He feels like a teen, feels his ear burning too as he asks the question, hopes he doesn’t come across as too brisk, too demanding.

“Dean, I—”

“—Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen. It’s okay too if you say you want to stay in the guest bedroom,” He whispers, “I just really like being with you. I’d like to hold you when you need me.”

It’s not even a lie. He had told her once that she had a nightmare and he had to hold her to calm her down. She was not so happy about it, but not because he ended up holding her, it was more that she was embarrassed about her having the need for someone to hold while she slept. Dean spent an hour telling her that it was okay and that she had nothing to be embarrassed about. It took her another hour to come to terms with it.

Y/N looks around as she chews on the inside of her mouth. There’s a hint of a frown. Dean just knows that it’ll get deeper if he doesn’t act, has learned to read her through the time she gave him the chance to get to know more of her, so he reaches out, rubs his thumb in between her eyebrows, evens out the creases before they can even show. 

The act catches her by surprise, and Dean can see it in her eyes as they widen. But then they settle. There’s even a glint of something sparkling in there as the little laugh lines around her eyes deepen. He likes the lines, loves that she doesn’t try to cover them up with makeup. 

After a while, she nods and the crinkles deepen. They don’t run as deep as his do, but they accentuate her face, makes her more beautiful, if that’s even possible, “Yeah, okay,”

Dean smiles bright, draws her down, kisses her nose, “I bought you a toothbrush,”

She laughs at that. The sound is sharp and bright and Dean kisses her once more, shutting her up. He likes kissing her. It really is a habit he can’t get rid of.


	11. Chapter 11

**Friday, 18th September**

The shrill sound of the alarm wakes Dean up and he quickly turns, smashes his hand against it. He’s still dizzy from sleep himself, but he had to react fast because it’s not only him in bed right now. He rubs a hand over his face, feels idiotic for not turning off the alarm, or at least set the alarm on his phone. His phone would have been less shrill.

Ben had gotten Dean the alarm for his birthday when he was still with Liz. The sound is loud, penetrating and the tone is so fucking annoying that Dean automatically gets up to avoid hearing it a second time. He had changed the batteries of the clock five times since he first got it, because he wanted to keep it as it’s still something that gets him moving, so he never changed it for a better one, or one that would be softer on one’s ears.

There’s a sound of ruffling of sheets next to him, and he looks over, watches her pull the blanket up to her face. Her eyes are still closed, her nose is sticking out. It’s absolutely fucking adorable and his heart is already doing somersaults at 5.30 fucking AM.

“What was that?” Y/N asks in a mumble and yawns, smacks her lips before she nestles herself deeper into his pillows.

It’s weird to wake up next to someone. It hasn’t happened for a very long time. Not meaning that he didn’t enjoy life. He had a fair share of dates after the thing with Lisa ended. Had one night stands too, but he never found someone he really wanted to spend the night with. Not someone like her, where he even spent the night without having actual sex and that means something big in Dean’s books. He does not exactly hate it, the feeling of waking up next to a warm body of a girl that is. It’s more that he still has to get used to it and he secretly hopes that it’ll happen more often. He guesses too, that it has a lot to do with whom he wakes up next to. 

“‘M sorry,” He whispers and turns towards her, pushes and pulls at her until her head’s on his chest and his arms are around her, “Forgot to switch it off. I have to get up soon, but you can stay, okay?”

“Mmmh,” She hums, and Dean knows that she’s already falling back to sleep, her lips start to part slightly and he smiles because it’s really cute.

Even though Dean knows that he really should get up, he decides to stay a little while longer. Wants to wait until she’s sleeping soundly so he can get up without waking her up. And while he lays there, he kisses her forehead and thinks about last night. 

They settled for bed after she said she’d stay and Dean was still unsure which bedroom she’d choose to stay in because he thought she’d back out at the last minute, which he wouldn’t have minded either. But then, after she came out of the bathroom in the plaid shirt that he gave her to use as a pj top — which did stupid things to his heart and mind — she chose to walk into his bedroom and he couldn’t stop grinning like an idiot. He hid his happiness, though, was afraid that if he’d show it, it’ll scare her off.

Dean was stunned to walk back into his bedroom after he brushed his teeth to see her under the covers on the usually empty side. Quickly, he drew the blinds, but left a little gap open, to let a sliver of moonlight in as he usually did. They haven’t talked about which side she’d take. Yet, she instinctively took the other side. Perhaps, though, his unfinished book and alarm clock on the one bedside table gave it away.

They laid together covered by the sheets. Her bare legs tangled with his and Dean jolted up when he felt her cold foot rubbing at his shin. She giggled at his fake annoyance and Dean tickled her, in the hopes that she was ticklish. She was and giggled some more until she was out of breath. 

Y/N tried to push him away, but he wrestled her around, laid half on top of her and there was that moment where you only see in movies, with two people’s faces inches from each other. That short moment before the kiss everyone’s been waiting for. 

That was how it was before Dean moved closer, kissed her soft and tender. It didn’t grow heavier or needier, though. It stayed sweet and gentle as he laid himself back and let her rest her head on his shoulder. His one hand smoothed her hair back as he placed little kisses on her lips and across her face. 

_ God _ , he was so hard, but Dean behaved and he didn’t think she noticed because he kept it a good distance away, didn’t want to scare her off like that. 

She smiled at the caress and they carried on with their little kisses for a while longer until he noticed her eyelids getting heavier. 

He kisses her one last time on her lips and whispered, “Sleep, I’m here,”

Y/N’s lips curved up just a little as she let her eyes shut close. 

Dean laid awake a couple of minutes longer, brushed the tips of his fingers over her cheek, stroking her to sleep until sleep overtook him too.

The second time Dean glances over to his alarm clock this morning, he sees daylight starting to shine through the blinds and a last check tells him that he really has to get up, so he pushes himself away gently, getting out of bed without disturbing her sleep.

  
  
  


*

  
  


She joined him later in the shop after having gone home to change and he wonders if he should clear a shelf in his closet or a drawer for her to keep her things there. For emergencies of course.  _ For forever _ , is what he thinks.

Benny notices that something’s going on because the dude can’t stop wriggling with his eyebrows every time he notices the two of them tiptoeing awkwardly around each other as Dean doesn’t want to be all over her, plus he’s working and he’s not a fucking teen anymore who can just sit there and gush all over her. 

While she works on her designated table, Dean disappears into the back to finish some work himself. Mainly, because Benny’s been staring and caught him watching her, and also because he can’t just be present all the time just because she’s here. He should work too, right? 

_ God _ , he hasn’t felt like this in an awfully long while, but then he had to remind himself that he’s not a fucking teen anymore and that he’s a grown-up with a shop and he needs to do work in order to afford the shop for her to work in it.

Benny joins him about thirty minutes later, sits down with a grunt on the chair next to his. 

“So,” The man says as he leans back in his chair, a stupid grin on his face. The squeaking sound is loud and maybe Dean should get a couple of new office chairs. “Y/N, huh?”

Dean doesn’t pay him attention. Instead, he keeps on working, clicking on the screen, and printing out orders to be packed. His eyes never meet Benny’s, but he answers his friend anyway, secretly hoping Benny wouldn’t notice the color rising to his face at the mention of her name, “What’s with her?”

“Oh, come on, man!” Benny groans out. 

Grinning, Dean turns to Benny, “I’m coming on, Benny! What’s with her?”

The other man rubs a hand over his face before he sighs, “Well, are you two, you know—”

“—Friends? Yeah.” Dean interrupts him.

“Jesus, Dean!”

“What?”

“I’m so mad at you, I don’t even want to talk to you right now,” Benny scoffs and spanks his own thighs before he stands up.

“Come on,” Dean leans back in his chair, “It’s the truth! I don’t know what I can tell you, we’re nothing — yet, really.”

Benny sits right back down with a smile, “You like her.”

Dean nods, “I really do.”

“Good, that’s good. And you know why that’s good?” 

Shaking his head, Dean lifts one eyebrow to stare at the man.

“Because you’re a good man and you deserve good things.” His friend tells Dean, “Honestly, having her around here is kind of fun.”

“Fun?”

“Yeah, she keeps bringing food, man. I like her.”

Dean snorts. 

Benny walks to the door, but stalls on his way out, “It seems like she likes you too.”

“I hope so.” Dean smiles at his friend.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


Late afternoon, Y/N disappears into Dean’s office because she asked him if she could print something out. He went to the back with her, and it’s really not a lame excuse in order to have some alone time. She really needs to print a ton of pages, but Dean takes the opportunity to steal a kiss while they’re in there anyway. She smiles into the kiss and there’s a slight giggle while she hooks her arms around his neck as Dean draws her close with his arms around her waist. He has to laugh too, so much that the kiss starts to get bumpy and uncoordinated. It’s like he really is a fucking teen again.

Dean parts from her, kisses her nose as she smiles at him, “Right, I’m needed in the front. Will you be okay here?”

“Yeah,” She nods, “I got it.”

“Take your time.” He nods, and takes a step further to the door, his hand still holding hers. And he really can’t stop because he pulls her closer to him again, and she squeals as Dean plants another kiss on her lips. 

  
  
  


*

  
  


It’s an hour until closing time and Dean serves a regular who’s now buying a dozen of packed beans. The customer carries the box of bags to the front and Dean opens the door for him, thanks him, and wishes him a good evening.

Before Dean wants to close the door again he notices a man coming right for the door. It’s someone he’s seen before. Someone he would like to not see again. 

Quickly, Dean steps out and stands in front of the door, making himself bigger and broader than he is. Well, he is actually quite tall and broad, but the door is just bigger so he has to step up his game. 

Before the man can even open his mouth, Dean moves forward, grabs the man by his arm, and pulls him a couple of feet away from the shop door. 

“What the fuck!” The man shouts and pulls his arm away from Dean’s grip angrily.

“You’re not allowed in there, buddy.” Dean says in the calmest of voice possible, not wanting to cause a scene. 

“What? Why?”

“I have my reasons.”

The man stares at him and then it’s like something clicked in the man’s eyes. Somehow he’s not as dumb as Dean thought he would be. Dean can see it from the way his lips curve up into a smirk and the man lets out a snort, “It’s her, isn’t it? She told you about me.”

Dean crosses his arms over his chest, fakes innocence, “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

Chris shrugs, and pokes a finger at Dean’s chest, “All I’m saying that it’s none of your fucking business! She’s my girl and I’m getting her back.” 

“Why’s that, huh? Can’t you pay rent on your own?”

“See, you know exactly who I am talking about.” The man spits out his words and Dean can see that he’s getting angrier. No wonder Y/N never stood a chance with that temper.

“Yeah, uh, I’m sorry to say, but if you fucking hurt a girl, it very well becomes my business, and the police’s business too, in fact.” Dean’s arms across his chest tightens, and he can’t help but think that it’s a little stupid. He’s here, in the streets, in his fucking apron, and has to keep the ex from someone he likes from getting into his shop. It sounds like a bad movie, but he’s in it so it’s pretty much real, “I can call the cops, you know? I think they’d be delighted to hear that you’re violating your restraining order.”

Taking a closer look at Chris, Dean has the feeling that he could take on the guy. He has got a few inches on the man, is broader and he thinks he’s stronger, too. He wonders if he should just punch the guy in his fugly face. At least he would love to, but he also knows that he can’t, not without a reason. 

“Fuck you,” The man shouts and spits onto the ground, a mere inch from Dean’s boot, and turns around to walk away. 

Dean watches him walk down the subway steps, and makes sure that he stays gone before he goes back into the shop. 

He notices that Y/N’s still in his office in the back, is glad that she didn’t have to watch what was going on, glad that she didn’t have to see her fucking ex. Dean doesn’t think that he’ll tell her. It would just fuel her anxiety and as long as she’s here with him, he can watch over her. 

He occupies himself with restocking shelves, tries to occupy his mind, and not think about fucking Chris. 

When she walks out from the back, Dean’s quick to be by her side, bends down to steal another kiss, just because he can and just because he feels like he fucking needs it. 

She grins into the kiss, “What’s wrong?” 

How does she know that something is wrong? Did he give anything away? It’s pretty scary that she knows but again, Dean remembers that she notices things too and she slowly starts to read him like a book that’s always been open. At least for her.

Dean parts from her to see her staring up at him. Her thumb comes up to brush at his spit shiny lips. He was too eager, kissed her too hard. 

“Nothing,” He mumbles, and smiles too. Tries to get her fucking ex out of his head, “I just want you to stay tonight, can you?” He pulls the corner of his lips down a little, tries to pout, “Please?”

He really tries. Really tries not to tell her that the reason he wants her close is for her to be fucking safe and he has the feeling that the only way she can be safe is when he is around her, so it’s not only self-serving.

Her lips spread to a wide grin, “Aren’t you sick of me?”

He chuckles, presses his forehead to hers. Her smile really manages to calm him down, “Never.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Saturday, 19th September**

Dean finished work earlier today as Benny told him to  _ get lost _ . Apparently, Dean was being too grumpy for Benny’s taste, because Y/N wasn’t in today. Every normal person who has a 9-5 job doesn’t have to work on a fucking Saturday and although he loves his job, he was actually being grumpy because he was jealous of all those  _ ‘normal’ _ people. Perhaps, though, the reason for his grumpiness is because he felt agitated when she was not here for him to keep an eye on her.

And that’s actually what Dean tries too hard to avoid. He doesn’t want to be one of those overprotective boyfr—

— Friend. He is a  _ friend _ . 

He doesn’t want to be one of those overprotective friends. Period. Doesn’t want to be all over her because she already has had a fair share of that. 

As soon as he’s in his apartment, he called her to ask if she’d be up for a date tonight. That’s right, he’s taking her out, since he doesn’t have to be up in the morning. But his words weren’t exactly like that. He didn’t really say  _ ‘date’ _ , couldn’t bring himself to, out of fear that she might be appalled by it, even though she probably won’t be? They kissed and all, right? 

_ God _ , Dean’s head is all over the place and he’s clearly reading too much into it. Plus, he feels like he’s a fucking teen who doesn’t know what to do with all the feelings he has balled inside of him. 

Y/N laughed as she agreed to come around at 5.00 PM and Dean steals a look at his watch, sees that he has to hurry.

  
  


*

  
  


When he walks out of the shower and checks his phone, it starts to vibrate in his hand. Dean slides his thumb over the screen, picks it up.

“Hey, Buddy,” 

Even though he’s in a rush, he takes his time to talk to Ben. He owns the boy that much, had promised that he’d always be there for him and Dean’s not going to change that, even if there’s someone else in the picture too.

“Ugh, can we meet?” It blurts out of Ben.

“Well, hello to you too.” Dean has to grin, this boy is seriously so hot-headed. 

“Dean, I have to get away.” 

“Mom?” It’s a wild guess, but Dean thinks he has hit the nail on the head.

Ben snorts, “Yeah.”

Dean thinks about the date he was supposed to go on, which is not really a date anyway, but she’s already on her way over and he doesn’t really want to blow it off because he definitely wants to see her. 

“Ben, look, I have this  _ thing  _ tonight,”

“Yeah, I understand.” The boy sighs. 

“No, I meant, it’s okay. I’ll make time for you, I promised, didn’t I? It’s just.. it could be that she’ll agree to come along and I can’t tell her not to because I asked her first, okay? Will you be okay with that?”

“Is it Y/N? You guys are dating?” It blurts out of the boy.

“Duh, of course it’s Y/N, how many crushes do you think I have? I’m not fucking nine years old?” 

“Jesus, chill, Dean. I was just asking!” Ben laughs and as soon as he catches his breath, he adds, “I would actually love to meet her.”

“Ben,”

“No, I’ll behave, I swear.”

“No talking about your mom?”

“Nah,” Ben sighs loudly, “I’m actually glad you’re not together anymore. She’s happy, I can see that. It’s just,” The boy trails off, as if he’s thinking what to say to Dean next, “She annoys me and the good thing about you not being together anymore is that I still have your place where I can escape to.”

Dean chuckles, “Always seeing the good in things, huh?”

“Yeah, some guy told me that once.”

“Some guy?” Dean’s brows furrow.

“Yeah,” Ben laughs, “He’s great. You’d like him.” 

There’s a knock at the door and Dean walks over to open it. His heart does that little weird flippy thing when he sees her. She’s smiling, saying hello, but immediately clutches her hand over her mouth when she noticed him being on the phone.

He signals for her to come in. 

“I’ll be there in about an hour. Maybe longer because there will probably be traffic.” Dean says into the receiver as he watches her dropping a duffel bag onto the couch. He raises his one eyebrow, wonders what’s in there.

“Uh, can I sleep over at your place?” The boy asks. 

“What about baseball?”

“I don’t have a game tomorrow.”

“You’re always welcome, Ben. But you have to ask your mom first.”

“Great! I’ll see you later, Dean!” 

“Bye, bud.” 

He hangs up and pushes the phone back into the pocket of his jeans. 

“Should I leave? I mean, I don’t want to be a bother,” She says as she stands awkwardly between the couch and the door. 

“No,” Dean answers, “No, please stay. I.. it’s just, Ben called, asked if I have time for him.” 

“Dean, that’s really okay. I’m just going to—” Y/N already walks to her duffel, about to pick it up from the couch.

“—No, I asked him if it’s okay if I bring you along and he said he wanted to meet you. If you’re okay with it, of course.”

“Oh,” Her mouth stands a little agape, “I mean, yeah,” She smiles a little and Dean replicates her smile, “Of course.”

“Great,” He grins as he walks to the door and takes his jacket off the hook, “Shall we?”

Y/N nods as she makes her way to the door and Dean just can’t help himself, stops her with a hand on her shoulder. Looking up at him with quizzical eyes, her brows knit and he chuckles before he leans down, places a kiss on her lips. 

It’s soft. 

She’s soft. 

And he  _ gets  _ soft.

Dean lingers longer than he has to, inhales while he kisses her, his nose taking in her scent. He exhales when he parts, pecks her lips once more and grins while he rests his forehead on hers, “Hi,”

Licking her lips, she chuckles as her hand comes up to cradle his face. His one arm goes to her back, rests it on the small of it as he pulls her closer, “Hey,” she whispers and comes in again, kisses him this time. He wraps his arms around her, draws her closer, kisses her deeper but still gentle. 

They are a little out of breath when they part and Dean knows that he’s blushing. He can’t stop smiling, kisses her forehead, “Ben’s waiting, come on,”

  
  


*

As soon as they were out in the street, Dean stretches out his hand for her to take, is a little nervous that she won’t but when she really does, his heart is drumming weirdly fast. 

Y/N didn’t even ask him where they were doing, didn’t ask how they’d reach Ben or where he had to pick the boy up. She goes with him, lets him whisk her away and Dean likes that. Likes that she opens up to him, like how she trusts him because he worked hard for that trust. Is fucking relieved that she agreed to meet Ben. 

He walks her to the garage where he rented a space for his car and when they arrive he can see the grin on her face.

“You have a car?” 

“Baby,” He nods and pats the hood of his Impala, “That’s her name.”

“She’s beautiful.”

“I know,” Dean smiles, feeling a little proud to introduce his girl to her. Walking to Y/N, he opens the door to the passenger’s side, lets her slip in before closing. 

Dean rounds up the car, gets in himself and starts the engine. Baby purrs to life, and he can’t help but stroke at the dash like he always does when he hadn’t seen her for a long time.

In the corner of his eyes, Dean catches as she smiles at how he pets his car, but it’s not a smile that suggests that she makes fun of him. No, the smile is warm, as if she really likes what she sees. 

He looks over to her and shrugs, “I couldn’t let her rot somewhere and wanted to keep her, so every other weekend, I’d take her for a spin.”

“No, that’s great,” Y/N is still smiling, “I think it’s great to see you taking care of something you love.”

The smile on Dean’s face falters, only a little. It’s sad for him to know what she’s been through, but hell, if she’d give him a chance, he’ll show her how he can take care of her because he thinks, it’s what she deserves.

When they leave the traffic of the city behind, Dean takes her hand in his and she turns her head, smiles him a shy smile, “If you give me a chance, I’ll take care of you,” He says as his thumb rubs over the back of her hand lazily.

“Dean, I—,” 

“You don’t have to answer now. Think about it. I’m here and I don’t think that anything would scare me away anymore.”

She looks at him, nods her head, “‘K,” 

Now, Dean doesn’t know if that  _ ‘K’ _ was for her giving him a chance or her saying that she’ll think about it. It doesn’t really matter to him, so he doesn’t ask. 

  
  


*

  
  


About halfway to Ben’s house, the cassette tape reaches its end and Dean tells her to open the glove compartment and choose another one.

Her eyebrows knit in the middle as she opens it, “Cassette tapes? Really?”

“You wouldn’t think, huh?” Dean feels proud because the sound of the music really wouldn’t give away that it comes out of a cassette tape. 

She’s laughing when she pulls out the box to rifle through, “Oh my god, you even labeled them yourself.” 

Dean grins as he watches her taking out one tape that’s still in its case. 

“I love it. Kids these days, they won’t know the struggle.” She takes more out, reading the labels.

“They really don’t.” He chuckles. 

“They look new, too. You really take good care of things you like, huh?”

He shrugs, “Gotta take care of things if you want to enjoy them longer.”

She pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, grins behind it and Dean notices the flush in her face. 

_ God, so damn fucking adorable.  _

She chooses Bob Seger and Dean’s more than okay with that.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


“Wow, Ben lives here?” Y/N gasps as they park in front of the gate. 

“Yep,” Dean nods.

“No wonder the boy wants to get away,” She chuckles and Dean almost spits out a little saliva from the burst of laughter that took over his body. He’s so glad they are on the same page. 

“You wanna come in?” He jerks his head towards the ugly big house.

“I’m good. Besides, I don’t know them and I really don’t want to intrude.” 

Dean gets it. He probably wouldn’t want to go in either. “‘K, wait here, alright?”

She looks at him weirdly.

“What?” Dean frowns.

“Where should I go? We’re in Pleasantville! I don’t really think there’s a way out.”

He laughs, likes that side of her, the playful one. Loves how she can easily make him smile with the simplest of things. Dean leans towards her, his hand goes up to caress her face, the pad of his thumb traces along her cheek. He steals a kiss, can’t really help the urge and she lets him, presses her face against his and Dean grins into the kiss, “I’ll be right back.”

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


Dean rings the bell and instead of Gordon, he stares into Liz’s face.

“Uh, I came to pick up Ben.” He says, doesn’t really know how to greet her. It’s very awkward, because he hasn’t seen her for quite some time, only talked to her on the phone.

“Ben!” Liz calls out for her son before she turns back to him, “It’s good to see you, Dean. You look good.”

“Thanks,” He smiles, “You do, too.” 

It’s the truth, she looks good. Like someone who’s really happy. Gordon is good for her and Dean’s happy about that. He also thinks it’s great that the pinpricks he used to feel whenever he saw her were gone. Dean doesn’t feel anything towards Liz anymore and that’s good, right? It’s a good sign. It means that he’s ready for a new start. The start of a beautiful adventure.

“Ben told me you have a girlfriend?” 

“Um,” 

“Not that it’s any of my business, I’m just curious.”

“You’re right,” He says with a smile, “It’s none of your business, Liz. I’m happy, I think that’s what counts, right?”

The woman’s eyes widen and there’s a slight gasp, “Yes, of course. You look great. Whoever she is, she’s lucky to have you.”

Dean nods, and before it could get more awkward, Ben appears with a duffel. Thank god. 

“Right, bye mom, see you tomorrow!”

“Alright, bye Liz, and thanks.” Dean nods his head out of politeness and turns to catch up with Ben who already flies across the driveway.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


Y/N’s sitting in the backseat when he returns to the car with Ben. She probably made way for the boy and Dean could say that she should come back to the front, but he doesn’t. He’s glad she decided this on her own as not to exclude him. 

Ben slides into the passenger seat and twists his body back to greet her, “Hey, you’re Y/N, right?”

Dean can see her eyes widening, can see her eyebrows climb up her forehead a tiny bit and he hangs his head out of second-hand embarrassment, “Ben!”

“It’s okay,” She grins then, “Yeah, I’m Y/N, nice to finally meet you, Ben.”

Ben’s eyeing her up and down as Dean gets in and starts the engine. The boy only turns back to sit straight when Dean takes off.

After a while of driving, Ben leans towards him, hissing in a low tone, “I like her.”

He has to chuckle at that and a glimpse into the rear view mirror tells him that she heard it too because her cheeks are flushed. 

“I like her too,” Dean says out into the open, “Thanks for your blessing, Ben,” He chuckles before his hand goes to Ben’s head to ruffle up the boy’s hair. 

  
  


*

  
  


“Where are we going to do?” The boy asks after some time.

Y/N leans forward, braces her elbows on the seat and lays her chin on her hands, “I don’t know, what do you feel like doing, Ben?”

Dean likes that. Likes how she engages with Ben. Likes the effort she makes so that the boy will feel comfortable.

“Uh,” Ben starts to think.

“Oh, I know! There’s a fair down by the docks.” She suggests.

“Y/N, Ben’s not twelve.”

“Hey!” The boy chimes in, “I can speak for myself, thank you. And yeah, that sounds great, Y/N.”

Dean can only smirk at that. The two are already teaming up on him. This is going to be great. 

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


After they stowed Baby back into the garage a couple of yards from Dean’s apartment, they dropped off Ben’s duffel into the shop and took the next subway to the docks. 

Once there, Ben followed his nose to a burger truck. Dean trailed behind the teen with Y/N, and made them sit down while he grabbed a tray of burgers and fries. 

When Dean returns, they are sticking their heads together, talking and laughing and he smiled at the swell in his heart of seeing the two of them getting along. 

“What are you two laughing about?” Dean asks, putting down two trays of food and drinks in front of them.

“Nothing, old man,” Ben teases and reaches for a fry to put it in his mouth, chewing and grinning at the same time.

Dean gasps for air like a fish on land for the dramatic effect, and there’s a chuckle coming from Y/N next to him, “Old man? Excuse me?” 

She lays an arm around him, rubs at his back and it’s weird, but Dean relaxes visibly as she lays her chin on his upper arm and looks at him. There are wrinkles on her forehead when she does it. Still, she looks absolutely stunning to him.

“He didn’t mean that,” Y/N says with a teasing smile.

He fakes annoyance, rolls his eyes to be more dramatic, and Ben laughs while he takes a burger from the tray. 

Dean takes two burgers, gives her one and unwraps his as he turns to her, “Seriously, what were you talking about?”

Chuckling, she leans closer and Dean meets her halfway. She tilts her head up, the tip of her nose brushing against the shell of his ear. It’s getting warmer there, little shivers run down his spine. 

She whispers to him, her lips brush against his earlobe, “If I tell you this, I’d have to kill you.” 

Ben snorts out a laugh, almost spitting the chewed bits of his burger out as Y/N kisses Dean’s cheek before she parts and winks at him.

These two, seriously. He can’t even be mad because they are both too fun to watch when they’re happy. 

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


They walk around the fairground, her hand in his, while Ben is typing away something on his phone. 

It’s great, Dean thinks. It’s easy. He wouldn’t mind if things stay like this. With him and her and Ben who annoys the fuck out of them every other weekend when he’s over. 

Ben tears his eyes away from his phone when he hears cheering in front. The boy starts to walk faster, curious about the cheers while Dean and Y/N increase their pace to keep up with the youngster.

They realize that the cheering comes from the people standing around the mechanical bull. They stand there and watch with glee as one after another are getting thrown off the bull’s back. 

“I challenge you, Y/N!” Ben laughs and reaches out to poke at her arm.

“Why me? Why not Dean?”

Ben groans, “Have you seen his legs? They are bowed so it’s not fair. He’s clearly going to win because of that!”

There’s one insult after another with this boy and Dean should be annoyed, but he can’t bring himself to care, knowing exactly how people talk at that age. He wasn’t any different when he thinks back. 

“But—”

“—Come on, Y/N, please?” 

Dean has to chuckle because Ben uses the technique that always made Dean weak. The pouting and the big eyes, paired with the whining can make anyone weak. 

“Ugh.” She groans out, “Fine. You go first.”

“Yes!” The boy nods and makes his way to join the queue. 

When Ben is standing in line, they watch someone else getting on the bull, their body rigid as it starts, and soon enough, they’ve been thrown off, landing gracelessly on the mats. 

Dean dips his head lower to whisper to her, “You sure about this? You know you don’t have to, right?”

She tilts her head to look up to him then, her lips curve into a warm smile, “I know, I just don’t want to disappoint him. I swear if you laug—”

He surges forward, kisses her, presses his lips to her warm and soft ones. Dean grins into the kiss, whispers against her mouth, “I would never.”

They stand side by side, his arm around her shoulder as they watch and cheer the people that are trying to compete on the bull. When it’s Ben’s turn, they cheer the loudest. 

The boy holds the bull firm in his grip, but Dean knows that there’s no winning where a mechanical bull is involved, but Ben is doing exceptionally well there, holding on firm as the bull bucks below him. 

Eventually, the bull wins as the boy is catapulted against the mats and Dean's heart almost stops beating thinking that Liz would give him a hard time if Ben injured himself on Dean’s watch. 

He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees the boy standing back up with a wide grin on his face. 

Ben walks back to them, beaming with pride, “Your turn, Y/N! Try to beat me!”

“It’s not a competition, Ben,” Dean reminds him.

“Duh! It is!” Y/N laughs and pats Dean’s arm. 

Dean rolls his eyes dramatically at them both as they start to laugh, “Somehow I think I’m the only adult around here.” 

“Okay then,” She nods at Ben, “I’ll see you guys later,” 

Before she can leave, though, Dean gets a hold on her arm, spins her around and dips his head down, kisses her once more. He really can’t fucking get rid of that awesome habit. 

“For good luck,” Dean smiles into the kiss.

She grins too, breathes out a  _ thank you _ against his lips, and then there’s the sound of Ben playfully pretending to gag at their affection beside them that makes them both chuckle. 

He watches her go to stand in line and Ben takes the place where she was standing next to Dean. 

“You really like her, huh?” Ben definitely does not mince his words.

Dean’s eyes find hers, sees her smiling as she queues up. She’s the only girl too and she doesn’t even mind, “I really do.”

“You know, she likes you too, right? She wouldn’t do all this if she didn’t like you.” 

Tearing his eyes from Y/N, Dean looks down at Ben. The boy’s tall, but Dean still has got some inches on him, “I think she does, yeah.”

“So,” The boy asks, “Are you going steady or what?”

“Going steady?” Dean chuckles, “You still use that phrasing?”

“Shut up,”

“No, I don’t think we are, Ben. It’s still new, I’m lost as much as you are.” He answers Ben truthfully.

“But you already act like you are, I don’t get it?”

Dean has to grin. The concept of an adult relationship is more complex than Ben can wrap his mind around, “You’ll understand when you get older,” Dean says, “She was in a bad relationship, not too long ago. It ended bad and I guess she needs time. I don’t want to pressure her because I’m afraid that I’ll drive her away.”

Ben’s mouth stands open because he wants to say something, but the fact that Y/N’s now sitting on the bull shifts both of their focus from the talk to her.

They’re cheering, so are everyone else because she’s the first girl in a while who dares to sit on it, apparently.

The bull starts to buck and she lets out a cute yelp as her whole body jerks. She’s holding on to it tight though. 

“She’s doing good,” Ben calls out for Dean to be able to hear him above the cheering.

“She does,” Dean replies with a wide grin.

It starts to spin faster and her hair’s flying all around her, but she’s still gripping on to it. Dean can see her thighs pressing into the side of the mechanical bull.

“Seven more seconds and she beats me,” The boy yells.

Dean only nods as she watches. He wonders if she’ll make it. With one second close to Ben’s time, she lets go and almost falls right on her face. Gracious is different. He still thinks it’s cute. 

When he returns to their side, Ben’s doing a victory dance and she rolls her eyes. Dean has to chuckle. While Ben still celebrates his victory, Dean steals a kiss, whispering to her, “You deliberately let him win, didn’t you?”

“Shhh,” She shushes him, hooks her arms around Dean’s neck and kisses him to shut him up more effectively and he laughs into the kiss.

  
  


*

  
  


As soon as they are in the apartment, Ben disappears into the guest room with his duffel. Apparently, he needs to make an important phone call. Dean already wants to tease if he’s calling Lilith, but the boy shut the door right in his face.

Y/N laughs into the bottle of water that she’s drinking out of while she stands at the sink.

Dean rolls his eyes at the closed door before he walks over to her, “Are you staying?”

“Actually,” She strolls over to the duffel that’s still resting on the couch, “I packed an overnight bag because I thought I’d stay,” 

His heart flutters. She really came prepared. That’s a first and Dean absolutely doesn’t mind. 

“But,” she goes on, “Ben’s here and I don’t want to intrude.”

“You absolutely aren’t.” He reassures her, “He likes you.”

“You want me to stay?”

“More than anything,” Dean replies, isn’t even ashamed of his neediness anymore. He really, truly wants her to stay and that’s his final word.

There’s a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips before she bites down on her bottom lip. A gesture that makes him weak, “Okay, then I’ll stay.”

That’s all he wants to hear and Dean smiles.

  
  
  


*

  
  


Dean’s already in bed, had closed the blinds and as always, he left a gap open. The light from his nightstand illuminates the room as he waits for her. 

She’s still in the bathroom, getting herself ready for bed. Ben’s watching something on Netflix, he can hear it, even though he told the boy to tone it down. There’s really no winning with a teen.

He hears her saying something to Ben, hears both of them laughing loudly, feels a little left out, but he’s not going to ask again, accepting that there are some things that they have between them that’s not for Dean to know or hear. It’s weird how fast they strike up a friendship. They’ve just met, but Ben’s accepting her as much as she accepts him. 

The door opens and the sound from the TV gets louder.

“Ben, tone it down!” Dean calls out again, and is stunned that the boy actually listens because the sound gets quieter.

Y/N’s wearing a simple shirt, that reaches her thighs. Her legs are bare and Dean’s sleep attire actually matches hers again. They’ve done that before. Sleeping together in the same bed, that is. It’s just, he’s still excited like a little kid on a Christmas morning. 

“Whatchu laughing about?” He mumbles as he dives his head into the pillow and lifts the blanket for her to get under it. 

She settles next to him, still a little smile on her face and Dean pulls her closer, letting her rest her head on his shoulder as he kisses the top of it. 

“I told him I had bruises from the bull,” She whispers as she drapes her arms across his stomach, “Ben laughed at me.”

“Bruises?” Dean tilts his head, “You’re hurt? Where?”

Chuckling she looks up, her chin on his chest, “Nothing serious, just bruises around my thighs.”

“Show me,” He already pulls the blanket off both of them.

“Dean,” She chuckles, thinks he’s joking.

“No, seriously, show me. I have a cream for that.”

Dean’s already sitting up, tries to find the bruises himself, but she was having none of it. She sits up herself and turns towards him. They’re sitting face to face. She slowly stretches out one leg, drapes it over his. 

There they were, the little bruises forming around her inner thighs. They’re easy enough to spot and they’re just starting to get darker. 

“Both thighs?” Dean asks and she nods, stretches out her other leg over his as well. 

Dean rubs along them, tries to lift her leg to see if there are more and it’s weird that it makes him angry. It’s not like anyone can be blamed for those bruises, but these remind him of other marks she’s gotten from her ex and it doesn’t sit well with Dean.

“Hold still,” He says and almost jumps out of the bed to get the arnica cream from the bathroom. 

“Goddammit, Dean! You scared the shit out of me!” Ben jumps up a little when he sees Dean dashing out of the bedroom

He snorts to the boy, “Why? You watching porn, bud? You know you’re not allowed to watch porn here, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Ben rolls his eyes, switches to another channel, “Why are you out here? You need some condoms?”

He ignores the boy and walks back to the bedroom with the cream in his hand.

Ben ignores him too, probably too tired to argue anyway, not that Dean wants to argue with him in the first place.

When he returns into the bedroom, she’s still sitting there, unmoved. Her arms are braced behind as she leans in to them, legs stretched out on the bed. Dean has to grin because she took his words very seriously. 

She turns her head, grins at him and he never thought she’d get any cuter but she does now.

He walks around to her outstretched legs, gets in between them and drapes one leg over his. Squirting the cream onto his hand, he begins to rub it in, does it softly so as not to hurt her. 

Y/N only flinches a little, tugs her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“Good?” He asks, and while he looks up to her face, he tries not to look too closely at the place between her thighs where the shirt has ridden up a little, revealing her underwear. He tries to ignore the damp spot he sees, tries so hard to not get hard. 

“Yeah,” She smiles, “It’s cold, though.”

“It’ll warm up pretty quickly,” Dean’s eyes are back on the thigh that he’s rubbing at, and he notices that he’s failed miserably. He failed at the ‘ _ not getting hard’ _ part, but he hopes she doesn’t notice. It’s pretty obvious though, since he’s only dressed in his underwear himself and he’s not exactly  _ small  _ down there. He clears his throat, tries not to think of anything that could get him harder, “It should help reduce inflammation and swelling,” 

“Okay,” Y/N says, and he doesn’t know if he’s an idiot or not. Doesn’t know if she knows about the cream, maybe she has it herself, maybe she used hers more often than she should ever have. 

_ God _ , he gets railed up when he thinks about it. Gets mad when he thinks about all the bruises she had to attend to herself. But hey, at least now he’s not that hard anymore. That would be a good thing if the nature of the subject wouldn’t be so dark.

Dean changes legs after a while, does the same to that one and then he risks a glance at her face again. She’s a little more flustered, and on their way up to her face, his eyes couldn’t look past the damp patch that has gotten bigger while he rubs at her thighs. 

He doesn’t really know what he should feel. Of course he’s happy that at least she feels the same way too, but it’s just not the right time for such thoughts. So he abandons them, pushes them out of his mind and finishes rubbing the cream into her thigh. When he finishes, he helps her tuck herself into bed, and walks out to wash his hand.

Ben has since abandoned the living room, but from the light spilling out of his guest bedroom, Dean guesses that the boy’s not asleep yet.

She’s already curled up on her side when Dean returns and he closes the door, gets into the bed, scoots closer to her, enjoying the warmth that radiates from her body. She’s facing away from him so he allows himself to move closer, allows himself to wrap his arms around her, spoons her from behind, but keeps his erection away from her ass. 

Dean kisses her shoulder, “What did you guys talk about when I was getting food?”

Her body shakes as she starts to chuckle, “Really? You’re still curious about that?”

“Yeah?”

Y/N laughs as she twists her head around, Dean’s nose touches her temple, “He asked me for advice.”

“On?”

“His girl? Lilith?”

“Ah, but I already gave him advice.”

She shrugs and turns back around, “There are maybe things girls know better than guys, Dean.”

“Do they?”

“Dean,” The tone of her voice is a warning.

“I’m just pulling your leg,” He chuckles and lifts his head to be able to kiss her cheek, “Good night, baby.”

_ Oh. _

He didn’t mean to. 

The word just slipped out.

Dean’s holding his breath, because her body turns rigid.

She turns around in his grip, looks him in the eye, “Baby?”

“What?”

“You just called me baby.”

“‘M sorry,” He mumbles, “I didn’t mean t—” 

“—No, it’s,” She starts and pauses. It feels like an eternity until she goes on, “I like it.”

Dean’s eyes widen, “You do?”

“Yeah, do you mean it?”

Sometimes, Dean thinks, sometimes there is no need for endless strings of words. Sometimes, people understand each other by the lack of words spoken. And right now, he does understand her. He understands her question. 

_ Baby.  _

It’s the thing he loves. The thing he takes great care of.

And he called her by that name because he wants to take good care of her too. Yeah, he definitely means it.

“Yeah,” Dean exhales, smiles too, “Yeah, I do.”

Y/N cradles his face as she grins. She pulls his face towards her and Dean lets her. Lets her press her lips to his as he wraps his arms around her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sunday, September 20th**

  
  


In the morning, Dean wakes with her legs tangled around his. They are connected in more ways than they are not, but still with a careful amount of clothing between them. He can’t help but think how it’d be if they would lose that barrier as well. He doesn’t know if it’s an excuse, but he’s only a man, and sometimes, in the morning when he wakes up with his morning wood straining in his underwear, his mind goes places. Especially when there’s a girl lying next to him that he absolutely adores. 

He softly untangles himself from her and pushes off the bed gently, grabs his grey sweatpants from the chair, and takes a clean shirt out of the closet before he tiptoes his way out the door without disturbing her sleep. 

A glance at the clock hanging above his TV informs him that it’s 7.23 AM. It’s too early for other people to get up on a Sunday probably, but not for him. His body clock is fucked up due to all the early mornings, so if he sleeps until seven, it’s already a sleep-in for him and more than he can possibly need.

Dean disappears into the bathroom to take a shower, realizes far too late that he didn’t grab a fresh pair of underwear on his way out, but shrugs it off. At least he thought about the sweatpants. 

After the shower, he walks out, makes himself coffee to start the day right, does it in the moka-pot because he didn’t want to start up the machine and wake everyone up. It’s his favorite kind of coffee anyway. 

With a fresh coffee in hand, he makes his way over to the dining table and starts up his laptop. Everyone’s still asleep and he needs to kill the time. Dean checks in on some new orders that have arrived. 

While he’s sorting his emails into the folders they belong in to be able to keep track of everything, he hears a door opening. A glance at the clock on his laptop tells him that it’s 9.11 AM. 

Dean sees Ben walking out, the boy’s hair is all ruffled up as he’s yawning.

“And suddenly, a wild Ben appears,” Dean jokes with a chuckle, but the boy just rolled his eyes at him.

What happened? Ben used to think Dean’s jokes were funny. God, even Dean thinks that he’s hilarious!

The boy sits down on the couch and grabs the remote, zapping through the channels wordlessly. Dean knows from experience that Ben always needed time to wake up in the mornings, and if they would stress him, Ben would have been grumpy with them all day. Dean would like to avoid that. Especially with Y/N in the next room and with them all planning to spend the day together. It would be exhausting walking around the city with a grumpy teenager in tow. 

Ben finally settles on a channel with wrestling reruns. 

“Can I get you a coffee?” Dean asks cautiously, hopes that he doesn’t get snarled at. 

“Yes please, but with milk.” 

Hey, at least he said  _ please,  _ so Dean gets up and makes the boy his coffee. Before walking back he asks Ben if he wanted sugar and the boy nods. 

Settling the beverage on the coffee table, Ben thanked him and Dean watched as Ben poured sugar into his hot drink. The boy pours and pours and it doesn’t look like he’s stopping anytime soon. 

“What?” Ben looks up to him, cocks an eyebrow.

“I was just wondering if you’d like a little coffee with your sugar?” Dean replies, and Ben rolls his eyes at him to which Dean smirks.

He settles next to the boy and they watch wrestling together for a bit. The next time a door opens it’s 9.37 AM. 

“Good morning,” Y/N greets them both. 

“I don’t know if it’s good yet,” Ben replies snarkily and Dean almost clubs him over the head with his bare hand.

Instead of doing that, Dean ignores the boy and turns to her, “Good morning,”

She walks out just like Ben, her hair’s a little messy but he can see that she’s less grumpy than the boy because she wears a smile on her face. 

However, the smile falters as she notices what they are watching. She walks straight to the bathroom and shuts herself in, and Dean wonders what’s going on. 

When she comes out, she tells them that she needs a little more time to wake up, and disappears into his bedroom. 

Ben didn’t notice that something’s up, but Dean does. He always does, at least when it comes to her, so he gets up and makes her a cup of coffee, walks with it to the door. 

Dean knocks first before opening the door, which is weird, because it’s his room? But he doesn’t want to overstep boundaries. 

He finds her on the bed, reading a book she probably had packed in her duffel and that makes him happy. It makes him proud to know that she has packed a book because it shows him how comfortable she is around here. That she knows Dean would give her space to read on her own, even when she’s with him in his apartment.

“Brought you a coffee,” Dean says and closes the door, shutting out the fighting noises coming out of the TV and walks over to her side to place the coffee on the nightstand. 

“Thank you,” She sends him a warm smile. 

“What is it?” Dean asks. He can’t  _ not  _ ask. He really has the urge to know that she’s alright.

Y/N sighs before she sets the book down and she does the thing with her bottom lip. The thing where she pulls it between her teeth and it makes him weak.

Dean doesn’t sit down just yet, signaling that he’s giving her space should something not be alright. 

“It’s just,” She starts to say and Dean sees that she’s thinking about her words, “I can't really watch violence on TV. I’m not good with violence in general.”

_ Oh. _

She goes on, “Like, I know it’s not real and all, but I just can’t. It’s triggering for me.”

How is he not surprised? Dean should have known better. And it makes him wonder if Chris was the first guy that treated her this way. It makes him curious about how she grew up, but Dean’s not asking. He will wait until she opens up to him.

“I’m sorry,” He says instead, and he really means it, “You can’t watch fight scenes in movies?”

“Nope.”

“So, I can’t take you out to watch John Wick with me?” He groans playfully. 

“I love Keanu but ugh, no. Sorry,”

“What do you watch?” He chuckles.

“Chick flicks?” Her one eyebrow is raised and she shrugs, “They’re harmless.”

“Tell you what, I like those,” He smirks, because it bears some truth. He does enjoy them. With his next exhale, he adds, “But please don’t tell Ben.” 

That makes her chuckle and Dean likes that. Likes how she’s back to being herself. And if it means that Dean won’t be able to watch a movie with graphic violence in her presence, then so be it.

She moves up to the bed, sits on it, and rests her back on the wall before she takes her coffee and places it to her lips to drink it, and she smiles at him as she swallows. Dean thinks it’s safe for him to walk closer, so he does. 

And while he does that, her eyes wander from his face to his sweatpants. 

“Y/N,”

“Huh?” She huffs out mindlessly and raises an eyebrow, takes another sip, because she probably knows what Dean caught her doing. 

Dean chuckles, points his index finger to his face, “My eyes are up here.” 

He knows that he’s not exactly small down there, knows that when he doesn’t wear underwear, it somehow bounces around and when he walks, it probably did just that.

Her face is flushed, and she clears her throat before she hides her face behind the mug, taking another sip of the coffee he made her. 

Grinning, Dean moves closer, sits down on the edge of the bed, and moves her legs, drapes the one closest to him over his thighs. He’s not exactly soft. He guesses that she felt it as her leg brushes over his bulge.

Y/N sets her coffee back on the nightstand and Dean leans in, gives her a kiss, tastes coffee and minty fresh toothpaste on her tongue. The kiss is soft, tongue teasing, just a little. 

He parts with a grin, kisses her once more. 

“Last night was nice,” She whispers, their lips still so close and Dean grins again.

“I thought so, too.”

“I’m sorry I’m ruining the morning,” 

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll just tell Ben to switch off the TV. He needs to get dressed anyway, I’m taking you out for waffles.” Dean’s hand brushes at her face, plays with the loose strands of hair. 

“I love waffles,” She smiles and hesitates as she moves her leg. It’s hard to conceal how excited she makes him, harder when he’s not even wearing underwear. 

She takes his hand, plays around with his fingers. Dean notices how her hands are tiny compared to his.

“You know, I was wondering,” She trails off, looks at him with a slight bite to her lips, hesitates before she speaks again, “Last night, uh, did you want to sleep with me?”

Dean frowns playfully, tries to take off the edge, tries to make her feel more comfortable because he knows where this talk may lead and he can see that she’s a little embarrassed, “What do you mean? I did sleep with you last night.”

“Ugh,” Y/N groans out, rolls her eyes back to her head. Dean chuckles because it works. He tries not to make this talk a serious one because it shouldn’t be. She recovers and there’s a little pout, “You know what I mean,”

He leans forward, captures her pout with his own lips, chuckles into the kiss too. When Dean parts, he looks at her, his thumb goes up and brush along her lips, “You mean if I thought about having sex with you?”

“Yeah,” Dean nods with a smile, “Yeah, I did. I think about it every damn time you’re around me.”

It’s nothing but the truth and he hopes she won’t be appalled by it.

She cocks an eyebrow, “That’s a hell lot of times,”

Snorting out, Dean nods his head, “Yeah, it is.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t take advantage,”

“Baby, I know that you need time and I’m giving you that. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, okay? And if I should ever make you feel uncomfortable or you think that I crush you, you have to let me know. I won’t get mad, I promise.”

Dean means every word.

There’s a smirk playing around her lips, and he raises his eyebrows in question.

“Baby,” She says and smiles, “You called me baby again.”

Dean gasps, feels the rush of blood to his face, his ears warm up. He clears his throat before he nods, “Yeah, I did.”

“You mean it,”

“I really do,” He assures her, “If you’re willing to take a chance on me,”

“Thank you for not pressuring me into anything,” She threads her fingers through his.

He wants to say that it’s the least he can do. Wants to say that it’s how everyone should treat women, but then again, he knows that he’ll get all riled up and it would ruin the mood. So instead, he just squeezes her hand that’s in his, whispers out a “You’re welcome,”

Y/N pushes herself up, and Dean watches her moving closer to him. His arms open instinctively, he can’t really help it. She makes herself comfortable, nestles sideways into his lap, and Dean wraps the open arms around her, nuzzles his nose against her temple, and inhales the scent that is her. 

Dean really did mean it. Means every word he says. He fucking wants to keep her safe and take care of her, hopes that she’d let him. 

Her head’s leaned against the junction where his shoulder meets his throat, nosing along his skin and then, she buries her face deeper into the crook of his neck, places a soft kiss there that makes him shiver. 

“I’d like to,” She whispers into his neck, warm breath brushing against his skin.

His heart picks up speed. Dean didn’t know it could beat that fast, but it does. 

“You’d like to take a chance on me? Want me to call you baby? I just want you to be absolutely sure because I might not be able to stop and I’m sure as hell am not going anywhere.” He has to ask, can’t  _ not  _ ask because he  _ really  _ wants her to be sure.

Instead of answering him, she climbs further up and rearranges herself, places both knees on either side of Dean and straddles him. Her arms hook behind his neck, fingers playing with the short hair on the back of his head while their noses touch. 

God, Dean can’t say how much he loves when she plays with his hair there.

She kisses him, her lips soft. The kiss means much more, he knows that, he can  _ feel  _ it. It’s like she’s pouring all her trust into him and Dean starts to tremble as a sensation of easiness and contentment sweeps through his body. She trusts him enough to take care of her.

Breaking the kiss after a while, she leaves her forehead on his. One of her hands comes around to cradle his face, his scruff is rough against the palm of her hand. There’s the little tug at her lips again, the white of her teeth showing. And she watches him, his lips moving as he tries to push a coherent word past his lips.

But before Dean can utter a word, she presses her lips to his. They are wet and slick from their combined spit, soft and familiar. He can never get enough of her kisses. It’s becoming a habit he definitely doesn’t want to shake.

Dean smiles into the kiss and she pecks at it once more before smiling too.

“Yes,” Y/N mumbles against his lips. 

He knows that it’s the answer to the question he asked but still, he wants to make sure, so he asks again, “Yes?”

“Yeah,” She grins, “All of the things. And I want to sleep with you, like  _ really  _ sleep with you.” Her face gets flushed when she says it. 

“Jesus,” Dean groans out, his dick already stirring at the prospect. 

He knows it’s not only that, though. He gets all excited at the thought of her laying her trust in his hand. He playfully twists his body around, and drops her onto the bed and there’s a shriek that leaves her lips. The sound of giggling hits his ears as he braces his knees on either side of her to lean over her body. His cock is hard in his pants and it points down, brushes at her thighs. Dean can’t really help that. He should have worn underwear, but it’s too late now.

“Dean,” She moans as he starts to kiss her throat, tongue tickling along her skin.

“What?” He looks up, kisses her lips but misses it, hits the corner instead because she smiles brightly.

“Not now! Ben’s right outside!” 

He chuckles as he buries his face into the crook of her neck, sucks in a patch of skin there, “I know,” He says as he releases her, “Just pulling your leg. You should get dressed, I’ll let Ben know.” 

Kissing her nose one last time, Dean pushes himself off her, but he looks down, sees her face flush, sees her bed ridden hair. 

_God_ , he thinks, she’s the most beautiful thing he ever did see.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thursday, October 1st**

  
  


It’s crazy how fast time flies. It’s almost two weeks since she laid her trust in his hands and let him take care of her.

They have grown accustomed to each other, have learned to arrange their schedule so it would fit both of them. She has retorted to working in his apartment now and not in the shop anymore, which he is really glad about. 

He just feels a lot more at ease when he knows where she is at all times because there were weird things happening. It happened at least four times where Dean would catch a figure lurking in the dark whenever he went outside to take in his signs after having closed the shop. His shop windows have been defaced twice in the last couple of weeks, which is unusual. It has happened before, no doubt about it. It’s a big city after all, but it has never happened so often in a short span of time. Dean thinks he knows who it could be, but again, he doesn’t have proof. Maybe, he thinks, he might have to take Ash up on the offer and put up some security cameras. 

Dean had cleared out closet space for her, had made space in the bathroom too because Y/N stays overnight more and more, saying that she doesn’t feel like spending so much time in her own apartment, since everything reminds her of her ex and Dean gets that. He wished that he could erase the memory of that coward out of her mind. 

Of course, he has already been thinking about asking her to move in with him, but it would be too soon, wouldn’t it? 

His heart says  _ no,  _ but his head says  _ yes _ . 

It’s stupid for her to keep her apartment when she’s here more often than she is not. It’s stupid to make her pay the ridiculously high rent when they can share the little space he has. Maybe he’s also being absolutely selfish because Dean totally likes the lunch breaks when he can just go up to his apartment and share a meal with her. He also enjoys coming up after a long day’s work to see someone waiting for him. It literally makes his heart flutter every time he gets into a well-lit and warm living room. His heart jumps when he sees her smiling at him and welcomes him home after a long day.

Dean decides that he won’t ask, but as soon as she mentions that she'll be going to hunt for another apartment, he’ll make sure to sweep in.

He had been thinking about giving her the key, but he just hasn’t found the right moment yet. Maybe there was, he was just being a coward and overly shy and honestly, he’s a little afraid if she’d think that it would be too soon. 

Unfortunately, she didn’t spend last night here because she wasn’t feeling too well. She thought she’d come down with a cold and she didn’t want him to catch it from her. And it didn’t matter how persistent Dean was in telling her that it doesn’t matter to him, she wouldn’t say yes and for him, no always means no. He didn’t fight it after that, just hoped that she’d be alright. He tried to facetime her before he went to sleep, but she didn’t pick up her phone.

This morning, Dean didn't have time to check up on her. He normally would leave the door to his apartment open so she can get in through the back. But she’d usually send him a text when she’s here so he’d know. 

The shop was busy till after 9.30 AM. It always was when he introduced pumpkin spice for October. People would swarm the shop to get their coffee and to buy their roast. He shouldn’t complain because the profit he makes during that time usually ties him over until at least February.

But when he checks his phone and there’s still no message from her, Dean starts to get worried. He excused himself from Benny to go up and check and as he thought, his apartment is empty.

Dean runs back down, taking his apron off on the way. He storms back into the shop, telling Benny that he’d be gone for a while because he wants to check up on her. 

Benny only nods because he understands. 

He didn’t tell Benny the whole truth, just tidbits of what’s important and why the thing he has with her is so special to him. Benny had asked him if he knew the address of her ex because he has contacts who can make it look like an accident. 

Dean has to chuckle at that, but Benny was dead serious. Well, it’s not like he hasn't thought about it himself before but that’s not really the right solution. She’ll probably never talk to Dean again if Dean would beat up her ex and it’s probably not even because she doesn’t think he deserved it. It’s more that she despises violence and him crossing that line wouldn’t be good for their blooming relationship. 

Also, he normally isn’t that worried. Well, he’s lying, he's always worried, always has been when he hasn’t heard from her for a long period of time in the past, but he also gives her space. He thinks he’s allowed to be this worried because he doesn’t know if it’s only because she slept in or maybe that Chris dude showed up, and — Jesus, Dean doesn’t even want to think of it, but he does as he runs along the pavement to her apartment.

Climbing the stairs, he gets a little out of breath as he reaches her floor. Dean knocks and presses his ear to the door.

There’s some faint shuffling. 

“Y/N?” He calls out, “Open up, it’s me,”

A minute passes with nothing happening, so he tries to knock again. Longer this time.

“Baby, it’s me, open up.” His voice is a little shaky. 

Another three minutes pass and another round of knocking before the door swings open and fuck, he’s relieved as he feels himself exhale the breath he’s been holding for god knows how long.

“You okay?” He says and steps into the apartment and closes the door behind him as she walks back to her bedroom wordlessly to climb into her bed. 

Dean’s relieved that nothing major has happened and he knows he shouldn’t but he does find her awfully cute. 

On his way to her bedroom, he opens the window in her living room, letting in some fresh air to be able to breathe better. 

He finds her curled up to her side, as she holds her phone in her hand. 

When she notices him stepping into the bedroom, she starts to mumble, “‘M sorry. I didn’t feel well and have forgotten to set the alarm. Ugh, work has called me so many times.”

Dean walks around to sit on the bed and she sets her phone down on her nightstand, curls herself into her blanket, and moves more towards him, her head touches his thigh. His hand goes up to her hair, strokes it back. She does indeed feel a little warm. 

“Don’t worry about it,” He says, “I thought something else was wrong so I came by to check. How are you feeling?”

“A little cold,”

“K,” Dean gets up from the bed and bends down to kiss her forehead. She really does feel a little warmer there.

Wordlessly, he begins to look around the room, finds some leggings draped over the chair, a hoodie too. He walks out to see if her work bag is still packed and thankfully it is, still sitting right by the door with her laptop and all. 

He walks back in and pulls the cover from her. She lets out a soft grunt as the cooler air hits her warm body. 

“What are you doing?” She mumbles and her brows are knitted on her forehead. 

He takes the pants and kneels down, pulling at one of her legs and tries to get the pants on her, “Dressing you up,”

“Why? I wanna stay in bed,” Her voice comes out whiny. He has to chuckle.

“Gotta take you back to mine so I can take care of you.” He says and it’s like she accepts it because she doesn’t fight him anymore. 

  
  
  


*

  
  


Dean settles her into his bed after making her take two Tylenol. He also makes some tea and leaves a pot right by the bedside table. She said she wasn’t hungry and Dean understands, but she needs to keep herself hydrated. He added a bottle of water to the nightstand before he leaves to go down because work is still on and he needs to finish some orders.

“I won’t be gone long, okay?” He strokes her hair back on her head and there’s only half her face poking out of the covers. 

It definitely looks cute. 

There’s only a soft mumble in reply, “‘K,”

He places a kiss on her forehead before he leaves. 

  
  
  


*

  
  


It’s four hours later when Dean finishes his open tasks and can finally check up on her. Benny said that he’ll take over so he’s free to go. 

Sometimes, Dean doesn’t know how he deserves to have such a good friend and employee in one person.

When he gets into his apartment, Dean can hear a soft snore coming out of his bedroom where he left the door open for the air to circulate more freely. He takes off his shoes so as not to make too much of a sound and walks into the bedroom. 

The water bottle is empty, so at least she drank it. She’s curled on one side, her head on her folded arms, the blanket still pulled up to her chin. When he’s close enough, he sits down and strokes his hand over her head. Her hair’s matted from the sweat.

Y/N stirs.

“Shhhh,” Dean hushes her and he starts to peel himself out of his shirt and pants. Walking around the bed, he sits down on his side, takes off his socks and his t-shirt too before he lays himself beside her, and gets under the heated blanket with her. 

His arm wraps around her body and he pulls her closer, presses his chest into her back. Her shirt’s a little damp from all the sweating that she does.

“Dean?” She mumbles half asleep.

“Yeah,” He says, “‘M here,” 

“‘M cold,”

“I know, baby, I know.” He presses his lip to her shoulder, “We’ll get you something to eat and then some more Tylenol, okay?”

“Uh-huh,”

“Do you want to get up now?” 

“Nuh-uh,”

“Okay,” He chuckles, “Two more hours, but then I need you to wake up for a bit, okay?”

“K,” She says and her hand goes to his arm that’s draped around her, pulling him against her more, making him hold her tighter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Friday, October 2nd**

  
  


Dean feels something moving next to him, but he has a hard time to sort his mind. Tilting his head toward his nightstand, he catches a glimpse of his alarm clock. Its numbers illuminate in bright red, telling him it’s 4.43 AM.

He doesn’t have to be up for another fifteen minutes, so he tries to close his eyes again, but there’s a stirring next to him, the restlessness of a warm body. 

It’s her, he realizes, and a feeling of utter satisfaction washes over him. 

Smirking to himself, he reaches over, pulls her into him. She’s still damp from sweating, but she’s not as warm as she had been. He had gotten her out of bed yesterday, had cooked her soup and made her eat some. He had made her swallow some more Tylenol before he abandoned his tasks and went to bed with her. There were still some things he had to do, but they just didn’t seem as important as sharing a bed with her in that particular moment. He thought he’d only join for an hour or at least until she’d fall asleep, but he didn’t account for sleep to take him too.

“I’m wide awake,” She whispers, “I’m sorry,”

“You’ve slept for the majority of almost two days, so that’s perfectly normal. Are you feeling better at least?”

“Yeah, I am,” She turns in his arms, snuggles herself close to him, buries her face into the crook of his neck and Dean’s heart does that weird thing where it drums heavily against his chest. He absolutely loves that. Loves to feel her against his neck, loves to feel her warm breath against his skin. 

He strokes over her matted head and kisses down on it, “‘M glad you’re feeling alive again. But still no work for you today, okay? I won’t allow it.”

“Ugh,” She breathes into his skin, the warm air tickles his throat. 

“Do you wanna get up?”

“Nuh-uh,”

“Nuh-uh?” 

“No, I’d like to stay like this a little longer,” 

That’s absolutely fine with him.

Dean closes his eyes again, enjoys the weight of her pressing against him, enjoys the laziness of the morning which doesn’t happen too often. 

He doesn’t know how, but they fell asleep again and the next thing he knows, the bedside lamp on her side is on and she’s on her elbows facing him, shaking him awake one-handed.

“What?” Dean frowns and buries his face deeper into the pillows. He manages to squint one eye open to look at her.

“You’re going to be late!”

“For what?” He asks, even if he knows what she’s talking about.

Y/N rolls her eyes, “For work!”

Dean grins as one arm finds her, he turns himself on his back and pulls her into his chest. She comes in with a shriek and he has to laugh at that. When he composes himself enough, he makes her lay her head on his shoulder and Dean places a kiss on her temple before he mumbles, “I’m not going into work today,”

“Why not?” She looks up at him, the frown lines are visible on her forehead. 

“Because I’m gonna spend the day taking care of you.”

“But I feel so much better, already. You really don’t have to,”

“I still wanna be here. Please let me?” He whines, but it’s for show and she knows because she looks up with a grin, kisses at his scruffed cheek. He should definitely take his time to shave today, the length of the beard starts to feel itchy to him.

She curls into his side again, her cheeks warm against his naked shoulder, “Thought you hated Benny opening up the shop?”

“How do you know?” 

“You once said that you enjoy working the mornings the most.”

There’s a pinprick he feels in his heart. He’s surprised she remembers him saying that. 

Dean chuckles and he can’t help but dip his head down to kiss her forehead, “Yeah, that’s because I was always excited to see you.”

  
  
  


*

  
  


Later in the morning, after they had their coffees and Dean has gotten more food into her, she lays on the couch with a book while he sorts his emails at the dining table. Even when Dean doesn’t physically have to be down in the shop, he still has to do some back-office work, but he’s glad that he can do them here as well. 

It’s almost 10 AM when he finishes with his first batch of orders that came in over the past twenty-four hours, and Dean gets up from the chair, stretches himself. This time when he looks over, she has her book on the coffee table while she’s snuggled herself into the blanket. She’s not doing too great just yet, but she’s getting there, so there’s that. 

It’s when he sees her starting to drift off into her daze again that he has the idea of how he can make her feel better. 

Dean walks into the bathroom and turns on the faucet in his bathtub. He lets the water cascade over his hand as he searches for the right temperature. Once he’s happy with the temp, he walks out again, scooping her up into his arms wordlessly but with a grin on his face. 

“Dean, what?” 

“We’re taking a bath,” 

“We? As in you and me?” She asks, but doesn’t really make an attempt to get out of his hold. 

“Yeah,” He smiles and sets her down in the bathroom. 

It’s a huge thing. They haven’t seen each other naked yet. Even though she once said that she’d like to have sex with him, Dean still hadn’t move on from that. There’s just been a lot of cuddles and kisses and he doesn’t want to force himself on her. He just really doesn’t want to make the wrong move when everything seems to be going so well. Maybe she’d been waiting for it, though, he wouldn’t know because he didn’t even try, he always stopped himself before it could get any further. 

At first, his self-control was barely hanging by a thin thread but then he got used to it and now it’s like, he doesn’t even really need it when he’s with her? Which is weird. Well, it would be an added bonus, for sure but he doesn’t want to do it at any cost. And he’s willing to wait for as long as she needs him to.

It’s just… he feels that now’s the time to get her bathed after she’s been sweating and he needs a shower too and they don’t even have to make love. This whole relationship has been more about the intimacy of their mind rather than their body anyway. Dean never thought that it could be enough, but she sure had taught him differently. 

“Dean, I—,” 

Y/N awkwardly pulls at the hem of her shirt and he just knows that he has to make the first move. 

Dean grabs at the collar of his own shirt, pulls it over his head, and drops it carelessly onto the bathroom floor. He grins at her, which is a sign of reassurance but it’s also his way to overplay his own nervousness and insecurities. It’s like he said, they have never seen each other naked before. He also thinks being naked only a physical thing now, because he stripped his mind naked for her a long time ago. There’s really nothing that he holds back from her, except that thing with her ex but that’s only so she wouldn’t be worried, and Dean thinks she did the same for him too. She has unloaded her truth and her secrets on him. This is really the last barrier they’re going to be crossing. 

He takes a deep breath before he rids himself from his sweatpants, pulls his underwear with them too. Dean also doesn’t let her see that he’s actually quite shy now because if he does, she’d probably back out and he doesn’t want that. The only bad thing, though, is that his dick is getting semi-hard, but he really can’t help it. It’s the constant state when he’s around her lately. 

He turns around and gets into the tub, sits down with his back resting against the wall of it. 

“Now you,” He says, smiles too, to encourage her. 

She tugs her bottom lip between her teeth, her fingers still gripping and playing around with the edge of the t-shirt she’s wearing. 

“C’mon, I won’t look if you don’t want to,” Dean’s about to bring his wet hand to his face and clasp it over his eyes when she stops him.

“No,” She says, “No, it’s okay. You can look,” 

“I don’t have to, you kno—”

“—Yeah,” She cuts in, “I know. But I want you to.”

Dean swallows, nodding at her after.

Slowly, her hands lift her shirt and she pulls it over her head. She hasn’t been wearing a bra so her breasts bounce as she takes off her shirt. God, he would love to touch them without the fabric in between. He has indeed held them in his palm before, but always with that careful barrier of clothing between them. 

He draws his bottom lip between his teeth as he watches her hooking her thumbs into her panties to pull them down. His dick stirs in the water, swells up to its full size. There’s no hiding. He stops biting on his bottom lip but moves to bite on his inner of his cheek instead because he doesn’t want to make too loud of a sound but fuck, if seeing her bare to him doesn’t affect him, he’d be lying. 

There’s another bob of his Adam's apple as she walks closer and Dean moves forward to turn off the faucet before he holds out a hand to help her in. He moves back the furthest he can go. His tub is clearly not made for two, especially when one of the two is as bulky as him. There’s not a lot of room in between his legs and he pulls her into his lap with his hand around her stomach, making her lean her head back onto his shoulder. 

“You good?” He asks as he places a small kiss on her temple. 

“Yeah,” She smiles and he starts to scoop up water and wets her arm with it, “It’s just,” She starts to say.

“What?”

“You’re poking me,” There's a giggle that she pushes out past her lips and Dean joins in, chuckles too because she’s not wrong. He’s fucking hard and he tries not to move too much because it would feel too good and he doesn’t want to, like, come in an instant while they are taking their first bath together.

“I know, I’m sorry,” He whispers, “Just can’t stop my dick from getting excited when I’m around you.”

She chuckles and tilts her head, her forehead nuzzling against his throat, “I’m sorry I’m giving you a hard time. But thank you,”

“For what?” He mumbles.

“For being patient. And for taking care of me. Nobody has done that in a very long time.”

Yes, he has figured that her ex probably didn’t.

Dean wraps his arms around her body, moves her further up his lap, groans out when her bare pussy brushes against his hard dick, and he needs a moment to recover before he can speak again.

“You deserve nothing less, you know that, right? You don’t have to let people treat you like you’re not worth it, because you are.”

As she wraps her arms around his neck, her nose brushes against Dean’s cheek when she nods, “I know that now. Thanks to you.” 

His heart takes a leap and Dean knows it sounds fucking cheesy, but he doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy in his life. 

He captures her mouth with his, kisses her soft and deep, his dick stirs uncomfortably below her and she lets out hot air in the form of a chuckle against his lips.

“What?” He mumbles against her mouth, grins upon hearing her laugh. 

“You are really so hard. Should I help you out?” Her hand goes below her to grab at his throbbing cock and he lets out a hiss. 

“God, no,” He says, can’t really believe his own words but he said it and he means it. 

“Why?” 

Y/N moves down to sit between his spread thighs facing him, and is now holding his dick with both her hands as she massages it up and down. 

“Because, ah,” He says, hisses out once more because her hands are really skilled,  _ Jesus _ , “We’re here to get cleaned up and not to make ourselves dirtier,” Dean cocks an eyebrow and she grins at him like she doesn’t believe him, so Dean reaches out, pulls her back into his lap. He holds her close, kisses along her cheeks, “And besides,” He pauses to kiss her nose, “When we do it, it’s not going to be in a tiny bathtub.” 

She laughs and Dean begins to tickle her, starting a tickle fight to take off the edge.


	16. Chapter 16

**Sunday, October 18th**

  
  


“You sure about bringing me along?” Y/N asks as they get out of the car. 

“Baby, how many times are you want to ask me? You’re slowly but surely driving me fucking nuts!” Dean groans out and closes his eyes as he waits by the hood of the car for her to join him, “Ben asked me to bring you along, so don’t even dare think that you’re not wanted, understand?”

She looks down at her toes as her hand goes up to scratch behind her left ear. Dean has learned that it’s something she does when she’s nervous. He gets it, though, he really does. They are here because Ben has a game and Dean wanted to come alone at first and even Y/N was okay with that because he didn’t really want to pressure her into meeting Liz. He doesn’t want to meet Chris either, if Dean’s being honest. But then Ben asked him to bring her along, saying how much he looked forward to meeting her again, and Dean just couldn’t say no to that. 

Y/N was okay with it, but now it seems like she has changed her mind because she has caught some weird stage fright on the drive out here.

“C’mon, everything’s going to be okay, alright?” Dean wraps his one arm around her waist, pulls her into him and places a kiss on her forehead. He looks down as he brushes the back of his hand over her cheek, “We do it for Ben,” 

And that’s the truth too. He couldn’t care less about Liz and Gordon, even though they’re here as well but Dean’s old enough to know how to act like an adult when he must. Ben’s still a part of his life and even though Dean doesn’t want it any other way, Liz is still going to be a more important part of Ben’s life. He has to come to terms with that and by proxy, Y/N has to too, even though she holds no ill-will against any of them. It’s more the fact that she doesn’t like to be pointed out as the new arrival in their weird construct of a family. Of course Dean gets that. It’s just he also kind of wants to introduce her as such because she’s staying, no matter what, and he thought he made it clear last night when they actually, and maybe finally, had sex for the first time. 

Sex is also too weird of a word. It was love making when they actually got around to do the act. It was different from anything he’s experienced. There was a lot of laughter as they got to know what the other person likes and what is a hard limit to them. 

They spent the whole night doing it. And at first, the foreplay lasted longer than the act itself. Mainly because she let him go down on her, and Jesus, Dean didn’t even want to stop, coaxed orgasm after orgasm out of her until she got too sensitive and pulled him up from between her thighs with a tight grip in his hair. 

He whined when she wouldn’t let him taste more of her and she cradled his face that was wet and slick, kissed him hard and moaned into his mouth when the scent of her own taste hit her tongue. 

She pushed him on his back and snaked down his body, and god, he’s getting hard just thinking about her talented tongue. And she did this thing with her fingers where she constantly massaged his balls and let the tips of them trail down his rim while she sucked him off. Dean had watched her. Of course he had. He couldn’t have looked away even if he had wanted to. She smiled and looked at him with his dick at her mouth, painted along her lips with the tip before she stuck out that tongue of hers to twirl around the head like it’s the most delicious lollipop. 

And all the while, Dean couldn’t hold back the praises he spilled, “Good girl,” He purred, “That’s it, just like that,” 

It seemed to have turned her on more. When she licked down his shaft, she’d taken his balls into her mouth, gave each of them a twirl with her tongue before she sucked them in to pop them out, “Fuck,” Dean gritted his teeth, “Just like that, baby,”

Y/N smiled with her mouth full of his one ball and his dick rested on her face. It was the best damn fucking sight.

He had to pull her off of him so as not to come too soon but as soon as he slid his cock into her wet and tight heat, he blew right away. 

There was a lot of laughter and Dean felt his face flare up, which was not only from the heated moment but also a little out of embarrassment. He didn’t pull his soft cock out of her, though. Instead, he leaned down and braced his elbow on either side of her head. He kissed her deep and tender, grinding his pelvis against her as she wrapped her arms around his body, her nails scraping up and down his back. It wasn’t long before he had gotten hard again and this time, he fucked her like he really meant to. 

They made love again this morning right when they woke up. The moment was just right and god, like her kisses, he can’t really get enough of it.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


As they make their way over to the bleachers, Dean can already see Liz and Gordon sitting and waiting for the game to start. Ben’s sitting with his teammates. The boy waves at Dean and Y/N when he sees them. It’s adorable, Dean makes a note to pull Ben’s leg with the mention of how enthusiastically he just waved at them.

Dean squeezes his hand around hers as he pulls her along. An encouragement to keep on going, a reassurance that he’s here.

Liz is looking shocked to see him bring his new girl, but Dean ignores it. He smirks a little at the thought of calling her his girl though. It’s because she is. She’s  _ his  _ to protect, his to keep. 

Apart from their short hello’s, they didn’t get to talk a lot since the game began. 

He sits next to Gordon and Dean is surprised how easy it is to talk to the guy who took his place. Of course, Dean also couldn’t help but notice Liz stares whenever he puts an arm around Y/N or draws her in for a kiss.

Dean ignores most of these things, though, makes jokes and conversation with Gordon while he draws Y/N into the talk, so she wouldn’t feel left out. 

While Liz was talking to Ben during the break, and Y/N left to go to the restrooms, Dean couldn’t help but ask Gordon for some advice regarding her ex, and Gordon frowns at that.

“You should never date someone with more baggage than you can lift,” Gordon says and Dean only cocks his eyebrow, squints at the man too. The man lets out a sigh before he shrugs, “Yeah, I’m not the one to talk but I’m just telling you,”

“I think it’s not too heavy, you know?” Dean says as he turns his head to look towards the restrooms. He notices her coming out, watches as she smiles at him. He smiles back and then she pauses to grimace and stick her tongue out. He laughs before he turns back to Gordon, “Sometimes it’s getting lighter when you know that there’s someone there to help you support the baggage.”

“She must have other secrets, Dean. Are you ready to uncover that?” 

“I know quite a lot already. At least the things she wants me to know,” He says with a confident smirk, “There’s a point in a relationship when you realize that you trust someone enough to let them keep their secrets, I guess.”

“That’s true,” Gordon nods and clears his throat, “I supposed. Anyway, if you want to discuss things further, you know where to reach me, right?”

“Sure,” Dean nods back, “I will,”

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


“You sure you don’t want to stay?” He asks as they walk out of the garage after he had parked Baby back in her spot. 

She hooks her arm into his and presses her cheek against his shoulder, “I’m positive. I need to get some work done for the meeting tomorrow, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” 

“Hey,” Y/N says cheerfully as they walk in the opposite direction of his shop. It’s the way back to her apartment. Dean at least wants to walk her home. 

His right hand is in his pocket as he plays around with a keychain he bought a week before. On the chain is the extra key to his apartment and he’s been meaning to give it to her, but has never gotten a chance to. 

Well, that’s a lie. There were plenty of chances. He just chickened out every time he wanted to bring it up. 

They climb the stairs to her apartment and Dean waits until she has her door open. When she turns back to face him, he waves an arm around her, pulling her closer. 

“Thanks,” He whispers.

Her eyebrows knit together, “For what?”

“You know,” He starts, “Before I met you, I didn’t know what it was like to look at someone and smile for no reason. And that’s what I do every time I look at you. So, I just want to say thank you for making me smile. Benny will probably send you a fruit basket.”

There’s a hearty laugh coming out of her and Dean leans in, catches her mouth mid-laugh, has to smile too as their noses bump clumsily together. 

“You sure you don’t want me to stay?” He asks, but he knows the answer and he’s actually okay with it. He just wants to pull her leg.

“Dean, I won’t get anything done when you’re here.” She kisses him, but he feels the grin forming on her lips.

Breaking the kiss, Dean smiles cockily, “Well, we would get plenty done, if you know what I mean?”

Her hands come up to cradle his face, “I know exactly what it means and that’s the reason we won’t be staying over at each other’s,”

Dean tries to pout, it usually doesn’t work. But she’s smiling as she kisses him, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He nods, “Oh, before I go,” Dean starts to stay.

The moment is here. His heart picks up speed. Ugh. He’s going to pass out, isn’t he? This is worse than he thought it would be. He thinks he’s sweating profusely, and hopes that she doesn’t notice. 

Dean’s one hand goes into his pant pocket, fishes out his key with the keychain. It’s a coffee mug and it has a heart on it. It’s totally cheesy and yet, he had to buy it for her. 

“My apartment key,”

“Dean,”

“No, I want you to have it. I want you to know that you’re welcome at any time, it doesn’t even matter if I’m there or not,”

“Are you really sure?” There’s doubt he can hear in her voice.

“Jesus,” He groans, “Never been more sure of anything in my life,” He mumbles as he presses his lips to hers and she smiles against his mouth and whispers something that sounds like  _ thank you _ .


	17. Chapter 17

**Saturday, October 31st**

  
  


Dean had a busy day today and Benny went home earlier because of a Halloween party he was going to attend. Benny also did some costume shopping while on his lunch break and showed Dean the white fangs and fake blood. Apparently, he's going to be showing up dressed as a vampire.

Y/N’s having a couple of drinks with her workmates and her boss, and Dean said that he’d pick her up, if he can make it. 

He’s determined to make it, so he’s in a hurry to close the shop because he’d like to go up and take a shower before heading out again. He doubts that he’ll manage to clean everything, but since his shop is closed tomorrow, he can come down and do the rest then. 

She had helped him in the shop today and it wasn’t because Dean told her to. 

When she came down from his apartment, dressed in his shirt with the sleeves folded up — which she looked ridiculously cute in by the way — she saw the madness that was going on and decided to help out. 

Later in the afternoon, he showed her the roasting process in the back and they sat down to pack the beans side by side. 

It was good. He could get used to it. Could get used to having her around the shop to help him. Also, it makes time go by faster when he has someone to talk to while he does his chores. He and Benny are a good team, but they don’t often work together except in the mornings and evenings. During the day, each of them have their own chores and responsibilities and they both find themselves doing it all alone.

So yeah, of course Dean enjoyed company when he had it. 

And like he said, time flies by so quickly and then she got the call from her workmates because she was the only one not to be at the bar. She quickly jumped to her feet, bends down to kiss him goodbye and Dean asked if she didn’t want to change and dress up. 

Y/N laughed as she stalled at the door. She turned back to him, a big smile on her face, “I’m going as you. Smelling like coffee and all,”

Dean chuckled and shook his head.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


After Dean had showered, he checked his phone to see a message from her that she sent him more than thirty minutes ago. He must have missed it as he took his time to trim the scruff that has gotten out of hand.

> _Y/N: No need to hurry, I’m going to go home now. The others wanted to go to a club but I’d rather watch a boring documentary with you. Meet me at my place?_

Dean chuckles while he reads it. _Boring my ass_ , he thinks. She’s the one who wants to watch the boring things, not him. But he lets it slide, because it’s her. 

He thought about replying, but he guesses that he’ll get dressed first. And besides, she’s probably already at home so the quicker he can get into his clothes, the quicker he’ll be there.

When Dean’s dressed and ready to go, his phone vibrates in his pants. Fishing it out, he looks at the screen.

It keeps on ringing with a picture of her he took just yesterday. It’s her in one of his flannels, drinking coffee while she looks at him. She had made a face after the picture was taken. Had literally growled at him for taking it and all he could do was laugh. She doesn’t know that it’s now his lock screen too. 

Grinning, he picks up, sliding his thumb across the screen.

“Dean, he’s here,”

A shiver runs down his spine as he hears her words. She doesn’t even have to tell him _who_ was there. He just fucking knows.

“Are you home?” He asks, already halfway out the door.

“Yeah, he’s outside of my door, knocking and trying to get in.”

“Have you called the police?”

“I have, they are sending someone around, but it might take a while since it’s Halloween.”

“I’ll be right there,” He hangs up and flies down his staircase, almost tripping and falling on the last flight.

Dean gets out and runs. 

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


He pushes past costumed people who were in his way, and there were profanities thrown his way, but he couldn’t care. He kept on running as fast as his fucking bowed legs would let him.

When he arrives at her apartment building, he takes three stairs at once, flying up to her floor in record time.

But when Dean finally reaches the floor, Chris is not outside anymore.

His heart is beating fast and he’s panting as he walks closer. The door to her apartment seems to be closed but when he pushes a finger against it, it springs open.

_Fuck._

The whimpering is the first thing that hits his ears and Dean’s alerted right away. He pushes the door open and storms right in to see Chris pulling her by the hair as he slaps her and if that’s not enough, the dude claws his dirty hand around her throat, choking her as he pushes her back into the opposite wall.

Dean’s on Chris quicker than the dude could react and slap her over the face a second time, pulling him down and mounting him as he lands a punch to the guy's jaw. 

Chris fights back, throws a punch, but Dean ducks on time, counters him with a punch to the guy's nose. The dude buckles below him, trying to throw him off like an electrical bull. 

He doesn’t register what’s going around him. All he sees is Chris and all he hears is Chris’ bones breaking every time Dean would land a punch on the guys’ face. There’s another voice behind him. Someone’s crying. Someone is begging for him to stop. 

His rage doesn’t allow the voice to get to him. It doesn’t allow Dean to think straight. The only thing he wants to do is beat the shit out of the guy who hurt his girl. 

_His girl._

_Fuck._

_Y/N._

Her voice gets louder in his mind. He’s coming back around, albeit slowly. The voice pierces through the ringing in his ears. It’s cracky, it’s strained, and it tells him to stop in between hiccups and sobs.

“No! Dean, no! Stop it! Stop! You’re going to kill him!”

He doesn’t stop. He can’t get his hands to stop beating the guy below him. Tiny hands grip at his arms, trying to yank him off the unconscious man, but Dean shakes her off, continuing to land punch after punch. 

Dean feels his energy draining, feels that the punches aren’t as hard as they used to be. Yet, he’s still unable to stop.

“Please, Dean, stop!”

He hears it. He does. But he can’t stop. His mind won’t allow him to stop. 

“Dean, please!”

Finally, he does. Dean looks at his hands. They are bloodied and bruised, and they are shaking. He wants to take a look around him, but he’s been tackled off Chris and pinned to the ground with a knee piercing into his spine as he feels the cold metallic handcuffs being slapped on his wrist. 

People rush around. Someone’s shouting,“Ma’am, are you okay? Ma’am, I need you to talk to me,”

He turns his head to look at the body next to him, sees Chris's face bloodied and bruised with probably more broken bones than he can count. Did he kill him? Did Dean just kill a man with his bare hands? 

Dean’s mind is all over the place, but then the sobbing pierces through again and he looks to his other side to see Y/N sitting with her back against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest as she sobs uncontrollably. 

_Fuck._


	18. Chapter 18

**Tuesday, November 10th**

  
  


Dean’s alarm goes off at 5 AM like it usually does. But lately, it has been harder for him to get out of bed. Well, it has been harder for him to do anything at all. 

He schlepps his aching body to the bathroom, takes a cold shower to wake him up, even though he doesn’t want to be up at all.

Yet, he still gets up every day. Still opens his shop every day, tries to occupy every fucking hour and he keeps on wondering, if today’s the day where she will show up and forgive him. 

It’s been too long. Too fucking long since the incident that put Chris into the hospital and him being slapped with lawsuits. Chris is still alive, which is good. Dean wouldn’t shed a tear if he was dead, but him being alive was good because at least that way, he doesn’t have to go to jail.

They separated Dean from her and he couldn’t even tell her how fucking sorry he was. They allowed him a one phone call and he used that to call Ben and asked the boy to please get Gordon on the line because now’s the time that he needs help. 

He’s been out on bond since, is allowed to live his life, because Chris had broken his restraining order and Y/N pressed charges against him. She must have told the police that Dean reacted out of self-defense because soon after, the more serious charges against him had been dropped. 

Dean doesn’t know what she told the police because Dean hasn’t seen her since when he came back to his senses that night and saw her crying on the floor. 

She hasn’t reacted to his texts and hasn’t picked up the phone. She also didn’t open the door when Dean went to her apartment. 

And Dean knows. He fucking knows that he has to give her time, but all he wants is to apologize. To say how fucking sorry he is. He used violence against her ex and that’s the thing she can’t stand. He betrayed her like that and there’s really not a good excuse. Dean knows that he could have reacted differently. Maybe talk to Chris, but he was filled with rage and there was nothing that could do to calm him down. 

Although he wanted to talk to her so badly, he gave her time. He just hoped that one day, she’ll find her way back to him.

Most of all, Dean is afraid that she’s scared of him. That she thinks he’s just like Chris. A man who abuses his power over someone who’s more vulnerable. 

Fuck. He really did screw this up.

Sitting back on the bed after he took a shower, Dean gets dressed and goes down to his shop. 

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


Benny arrives at 6.30 AM. Because he mainly wants to help Dean out in the mornings and maybe, it’s because Benny’s afraid that Dean will shoo the customers away with the mood he’s been in. 

Yeah, it’s not the best of moods, but what can he do, really? The girl he loves doesn’t want to talk to him and the husband of his ex-girlfriend is helping him out with lawsuits. Dean knows a fucked up life if he sees one.

  
  
  


*

  
  
  


As the morning progresses, Dean works the front as the machine had some troubles. He has to pause the coffee making to fix it and god, he hopes it’ll work because not serving coffee for a day would make him lose so much money that he can put into paying Gordon. Yeah, well, thankfully Gordon doesn’t want that much from him but still, it’s not going to be cheap.

When Dean finally fixed it he was so fucking relieved. He tests it out by making a coffee, and he was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t even hear the bell chime as the door opened. 

Dean only notices her when she is already standing by the counter, watching him. 

His eyes widen at first, but then his lips curve into a grin, even if he doesn’t want it to but his heart just does that fucking weird thing with the flipping and all and it transferred to his face and the smirk happens automatically. 

“Good Morning,” He says, is actually very surprised that he can still talk coherently. 

She doesn’t answer him, but instead, she walks around the counter, coming right behind it. She hooks her finger into his apron, pulling him down and the door chimes again, Dean hears it now, but he can’t look, not when she’s here and alive and well, and looking good.

_Jesus_ , he has missed her. 

“We have to talk,” She says, and she takes his hand, and Dean feels like a fucking teen because he gets all shy and flustered. His ears are burning and he lowers his face, his chin almost hitting his chest.

Dean nods, “Anytime,” 

“Yeah,” A voice pulls them both back to reality and Benny clears his throat next to them, “Guys, this is a coffee shop, I’d like for you to talk too but go, get out of my fucking sight,”

They both chuckle as Dean squeezes her hand and pulls her to the back. He could have gone up to his apartment, but he guesses that it’s better to just go into his office, since he doesn’t know if going up into his private space would scare her off.

He lets her sit down in his chair and pulls up another one for himself, figuring that it’d be better if they are both sitting and it’d be better if they all are sitting on their respective chairs.

“How have you been doing?” She asks as she scratches below her ear. She’s nervous. Probably as nervous as he is. 

“I’ve been better,” He answers truthfully.

“Me too,” 

“Baby, I’m sorry for what happened,” Dean says and he rolls his chair closer to her, his hands brush along her thighs. It’s impossible for him not to touch her.

Her lips curve into a smile.

“What?” Dean cocks his eyebrow at her.

“Baby,” She says, “You still call me baby,”

“Because you are,” Dean can’t help but smile himself.

However, her smile falters a little, “Dean, there’s a lot we still have to deal with if we want to make it work,”

“I know,”

God, he knows. And making it work is all he really wants right now.

“You know the reason why I was absent?”

Dean nods his head, “I can imagine,”

“I’m just,” She starts, but then stops. There’s an exhale as she shakes her head, as if she wants to take the conversation in another direction. As if she wants to keep the heavy talk for another day, keep it for another time when they are inside of their own apartment. “I missed you,” 

Dean almost wants to say that he missed her, too. Which he really did, but there’s another question that burns in his chest and he needs an answer to it. His hand finds hers in her lap and he takes a hold of it, threads his fingers through her tiny ones, gives them a squeeze, “Are you scared of me? Am I scaring you?”

She looks up from their hands, looks him in the eye and instead of answering him right away, she lets go of his hand and Dean already feels his heart sinking. But her next move gave him hope, because she got up from her chair only to climb into his lap. 

He opens his arms to welcome her in, automatically pulls her close because he fucking missed her.

Her face pressed into the crook of his neck and Dean fucking melts. 

“I’ve done some thinking in the past weeks,” She whispers, the warm breath fanning over his throat, “And no, I’m not scared of you, Dean. I don’t think you’re a bad person,”

Dean exhales the breath he’s been holding and she looks up to him, her arms hooked behind his neck. 

“I was afraid that you were,” He says, one of his hands goes to her cheek, brushes his knuckles over it. 

“I know, and I’m sorry for not replying to your text,” She says, and adds, “I just needed time,”

“I know that,”

Y/N kisses him then and Dean’s not prepared. Her hands are around his face, his long scruff rubs against her palms, and he knew that he should have shaved but that’s a rare thing nowadays, and fuck, he can’t think straight but he can act, so he wraps his arms around her, pulling her tighter to him as he kisses her back. 

Dean grins into the kiss that feels like the first time they have kissed. Bumpy and clumsy and smiley and yet so fucking perfect. 

“God, I missed you,” He whispers and kisses her again, glad that she lets him.

“Me too,” She whispers against his lips as she parts, but she left her forehead on his, “Shall we start anew?” She asks and Dean has to grin because that’s all he fucking wants.

“Yeah,” He whispers, and nods before he clears his throat, “So, good morning, baby, would you like to have a cup of coffee?”

She giggles, the sound of it makes his heart bloom. And she leans forward, kisses his cheek gently, not minding the longer scruff there, “I’d like that, very much,”

Dean knows that there’s still a lot to uncover. There’s still a lot to talk about, but for now, this is more than he could have wished for.


	19. Chapter 19 - Epilogue

**Thursday, May 13th**

Six months. It has been six months since she came back into his life and Dean has never been happier.

Gordon handled the court perfectly and Dean has gotten away with community work, which he could balance pretty well while Y/N and Benny helped him manning the shop while he was away. 

After the day she walked back into his shop, they spent two more days talking it out and it’s was a week after that that she moved in with him, mainly because she didn’t want to stay in a place where everything reminded her of her ex and how badly Dean beat him up. 

At first, it was more that she needed somewhere to stay until she found her own new place, but they got so comfortable around each other that she just never left. Dean had never asked her about her apartment search and she never mentioned it again. It was a silent understanding that she’s around and that she’d stay. Dean wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

“Dean, how are you feeling?” The voice next to him pulls him back to reality.

Y/N threads her fingers through his as she leans closer and places her chin on his shoulder. 

“‘M nervous, can’t lie,” He says with a chuckle as he tilts his head and places a kiss on her nose. She laughs. 

“Nothing will happen,” She whispers as the thing starts moving.

“How do you know?” He asks with a frown. 

They’re on a plane that has just started taxiing.

Dean grips the hand rest that separates Y/N and him tighter, the tip of his fingers showing white. 

The plane moves to the runway and the engine gets louder.

Dean starts to sweat, his one hand squeezes hers tight and she smirks. Her other free hand goes to his face and makes him turn his head to face her. 

She caresses his cheek, palms rubbing over his scruff, “Hey, don’t be scared, okay? I’m here. I want you to look at me, Dean,” 

He nods his head. 

God, whose stupid idea was it to fly to Rome again? Dean knows that the answer would be  _ his _ . Now he has to lie in the bed he made.

He once mentioned it to her and there she was, buying him plane tickets and arranging hotels for a fucking week and he couldn’t even tell her that he was afraid of flying because he didn’t want to make her feel like he didn’t appreciate it. He did. He’s just really fucking scared. 

He did tell her eventually, though. But only like, just a moment before they boarded the plane. 

She had seriously laughed at him, told him that if he didn’t want to, they don’t have to. But the thing is, that he really, really wanted to go to Rome? He just doesn’t want to  _ fly  _ there.

“Look at me,” She says again and Dean does. 

She kisses him as the engine gets even louder and the plane moves at a top speed. It presses Dean’s body into the seat and then it lifts off and he feels like his stomach is turning around. He thought that it was the butterflies from the kiss that he’s feeling, but it’s really from the plane taking off, however, she’s still kissing him and his mind revolves around her soft lips. 

Chuckling, she parts after a while and Dean can feel that they are now in the air, “How are you feeling?”

“Not good,” He lies, but he actually feels better already.

“No?” She frowns.

“No,” he shakes his head, “Need another kiss I think,”

She chuckles and leans in, kisses him again, soft and tender and Dean still can’t get enough of her kisses. 

They part, but she leaves her forehead on his, her breasts pressed against his arm and chest, “Think about all the coffee we’re going to drink. La bella vita. Think of all the pizza’s we’re going to eat, the fountains, the Colosseo, and the wine.”

“Mmh,” 

“And you know what?” She asks as her grin gets cocky.

“What?”

“We could join the mile high club while we’re here?” 

“Jesus,” Dean groans out, has to chuckle too, “Have I told you today that I love you?” 

He pauses and stops breathing. It just slipped out of him. He had no chance of stopping the words. Dean in fact, never said it before.

But she smiles, kisses him again and this time, Dean wraps his hand around her, kisses her back. Maybe to conceal his embarrassment. 

“I love you too,” Y/N whispers as they part. 

God, he’s happy. Dean knows that every time he thinks that he’s never been this happy in his life it’s not true because his happiness gets stronger the longer he is with her and that’s how it should be, really, isn’t it?


End file.
